Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Which is better during the day in Ramadan: reciting the Quran or performing voluntary prayers?

A Muslim should establish a daily schedule for reciting the Quran in Ramadan.
Once they have completed their daily portion (known as a wird or hizb), they can engage in other acts of worship, including voluntary prayers (nawafil). Prayer itself is called "Quran", because a significant part of it involves reciting the Quran.
Allah says: "BE CONSTANT in [thy] prayer from the time when the sun has passed its zenith till the darkness of night, and [be ever mindful of its] recitation at dawn: for, behold, the recitation [of prayer] at dawn is indeed witnessed [by all that is holy]." [Al-Isra`/78]

What is the ruling on undoing braids of hair during the ritual bath?

It is not a condition to undo braids if the water reaches all the hair and penetrates to its base. If the water does not reach except by undoing the braids, then it is obligatory to undo them for the water to reach. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away, and what is the ruling on her wearing gold?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away is four months and ten days for one who is not pregnant. As for a pregnant woman, her waiting period lasts until she gives birth. It is obligatory for her to remain in the marital home, only leaving for a necessity. During this time, it is prohibited (Haram) to display any form of adornment on the body or clothing; this includes wearing kohl, gold, all types of perfume, and dyeing the hair. Likewise, it is prohibited to receive a direct marriage proposal or to marry during this period.
 
It was narrated by Umm 'Atiyyah that the Prophet ﷺ said: 'We were forbidden to mourn for a deceased person for more than three days, except for a husband, for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days. During this time, we were not to use kohl, nor wear perfume, nor wear dyed clothing except for garments made of 'Asb (coarsely dyed yarn). We were, however, granted a concession at the time of purification—when one of us bathed following her menses—to use a small amount of Kust (costus) or Azfar (fragrant substances). We were also forbidden from following funeral processions.' (Narrated by Al-Bukhari). And Allah the Exalted knows best."

What is the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The Sharia basis of the Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) is firmly established through the Quran, the Sunnah, and the Consensus (Ijma') of the Muslims:
1. Evidence from the Holy Quran
Allah the Exalted says {what means}: "And the camels and cattle We have appointed for you as among the symbols of Allah; for you therein is good." [Al-Hajj/36]. He also says {what means}: "So pray to your Lord and sacrifice [to Him alone]" [Al-Kawthar/2]. According to the most well-known scholarly interpretations of this verse, "prayer" refers to the Eid prayer, and "sacrifice" refers to the slaughtering of the Udhiyah.
2. Evidence from the Sunnah
Al-Bara' bin 'Azib (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: "The first thing we start with on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and sacrifice. Whoever does that has followed our Sunnah, and whoever slaughters before [the prayer], it is merely meat he has provided for his family; it is not part of the ritual sacrifice in any way" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "The Prophet ﷺ sacrificed two white rams with horns. He slaughtered them with his own hand, mentioned the name of Allah (Tasmiyah), and said the Takbir" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
3. Evidence from Scholarly Consensus (Ijma')
The Muslims have reached a unanimous consensus on the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah, and no one among the scholars has disagreed with this. [Al-Sherbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj, Vol.6/P.122].And Allah the Exalted knows best.