Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

When does the time for Udhiyah begin?

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The permissible timeframe for Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) begins on the day of Eid al-Adha—the 10th of Dhul-Hijjah—once the sun has risen and a period of time sufficient to perform two brief prayer units (Rak'ahs) and two short sermons (Khutbahs) has passed. This window remains open until the sun sets on the final day of Tashreeq, which is the 13th of Dhul-Hijjah.
 
Our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said: "Every valley of Mina is a place of sacrifice, and slaughtering may be done throughout all the days of Tashreeq." (Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Ibn Hibban)
 
The days of Tashreeq refer to the 11th, 12th, and 13th of Dhul-Hijjah.
 
The most virtuous time to perform the sacrifice is immediately after concluding the Eid prayer, based on the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "The first thing we do on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and offer our sacrifice. Whoever does that has acted in accordance with our Sunnah (tradition), and whoever slaughters before that, it is merely meat he has provided for his family; it has nothing to do with the ritual sacrifice." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
 
What is meant here is an estimation of time rather than the actual performance of the prayer itself, as our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), used to offer the Eid al-Adha prayer immediately after sunrise.
 
The sacrifice is valid if performed at any time during these designated days, whether by day or by night, though slaughtering at night is considered disliked (Makruh). And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

When is supplication (du‘a) more likely to be accepted: before or after breaking the fast in Ramadan?

Du‘a is accepted at all times, and this is part of Allah’s mercy and generosity toward His servants.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "No Muslim makes a supplication that does not involve sin or severing family ties except that Allah grants them one of three things: either He grants their supplication immediately, or He stores it for them in the Hereafter, or He averts from them an equivalent harm." [Narrated by Ahmad]
However, in Ramadan, du‘a is especially likely to be accepted shortly before breaking the fast.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Three supplications are never rejected: the supplication of a fasting person until they break their fast, the supplication of a just leader, and the supplication of an oppressed person. Allah raises it above the clouds, opens the gates of heaven for it, and says: ‘By My might, I will surely grant you victory, even if after a while.’" [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]

My husband discloses all our marital disputes to his family. What is the ruling of Islamic Law on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is impermissible to divulge spousal secrets or expose one another's faults, whether during the subsistence of the marriage or after its dissolution. The foundational principle governing marital relations is that it is built upon confidentiality and mutual affection. Divulging marital secrets constitutes a breach of trust and a grave sin.
 
A husband ought not to resort to his family to complain about his wife over every dispute, nor is the reverse permissible for the wife, especially when such actions lead to stirring up malice and animosity between the spouses or between their respective families.
 
Islam has enjoined the preservation of secrets in general and commanded against revealing them; safeguarding the privacy of the home holds an even greater priority. And Allah Almighty knows best.