Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on performing istinja' with perfumed tissues or a tissue moistened with water?

Performing istinja' with perfumed or moistened tissues is not sufficient if they are not dry, due to the moisture on them reaching the impurity, which increases its spread rather than reducing it. Then, to remove the impurity, one must use pure water. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on someone who intends to travel to Jeddah for two days — must he enter iḥrām from his place of residence [i.e., before passing the mīqāt]?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Whoever is firmly resolved in his intention to perform ‘Umrah before setting out on his journey, it is unlawful for him to pass beyond his country's mīqāt (the designated boundary point for entering the state of iḥrām) without entering iḥrām. If he does so, he must return to the mīqāt to enter iḥrām from there, provided he has not yet begun performing the rites of the pilgrimage — in which case nothing further is required of him. However, if he does not return, he must offer a sacrifice (sheep/goat), to be distributed among the poor of the Ḥaram.
It is stated in at-Tanbīh fī al-Fiqh ash-Shāfi‘ī (p. 71): "Whoever, intending to perform the rites [of ‘Umrah or Ḥajj], passes beyond the mīqāt and enters iḥrām only after it, must offer a sacrifice. However, if he returns to the mīqāt before beginning any of the rites, the sacrifice is waived from him."
Accordingly: whoever is firmly resolved in his intention to perform ‘Umrah before setting out on his journey must enter iḥrām at the mīqāt of his country through which he passes. Whoever fails to do so, passing beyond the mīqāt without entering iḥrām, and does not return, has sinned, and must repent to Allah, the Exalted; and he must offer a sacrifice, to be distributed among the poor of the Ḥaram. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

My husband discloses all our marital disputes to his family. What is the ruling of Islamic Law on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is impermissible to divulge spousal secrets or expose one another's faults, whether during the subsistence of the marriage or after its dissolution. The foundational principle governing marital relations is that it is built upon confidentiality and mutual affection. Divulging marital secrets constitutes a breach of trust and a grave sin.
 
A husband ought not to resort to his family to complain about his wife over every dispute, nor is the reverse permissible for the wife, especially when such actions lead to stirring up malice and animosity between the spouses or between their respective families.
 
Islam has enjoined the preservation of secrets in general and commanded against revealing them; safeguarding the privacy of the home holds an even greater priority. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling of Islam on swearing by Allah without intending to take an actual oath?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
If someone swears by Allah without intending to take an actual oath, and without the firm resolve to bind themselves to it, then there is no sin or expiation (Kaffarah) required of them. Allah the Exalted says {what means}: 'God will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.' [Al-Baqarah/225]. However, a Muslim should avoid swearing oaths excessively so that their tongue does not become accustomed to it. Allah the Exalted says {what means}: 'And make not God’s (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly, or making peace between persons; for God is One Who heareth and knoweth all things.
' [Al-Baqarah/224]. And Allah the Exalted knows best."