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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it obligatory to have the intention for each day of fasting, or is one intention sufficient for the whole month?

The intention is obligatory for each day of Ramadan because each day is an independent act of worship separate from the others.
The intention must be made at night before the break of dawn, as the Prophetﷺ said: "Whoever does not intend fasting at night, there is no fast for him." [An-Nasa’i] 
And he also said: "Whoever does not firmly resolve to fast before dawn, there is no fast for him." [At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood, and An-Nasa’i]
Whoever wakes up and eats Suhoor while mindful of fasting has made the intention. Likewise, one who firmly intends at any moment during the night to fast the next day has also fulfilled the intention.

What is the ruling on performing istinja' with perfumed tissues or a tissue moistened with water?

Performing istinja' with perfumed or moistened tissues is not sufficient if they are not dry, due to the moisture on them reaching the impurity, which increases its spread rather than reducing it. Then, to remove the impurity, one must use pure water. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on wiping the head during ablution from behind a barrier like a headscarf (hijab)?

The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. As for one who has a turban or headscarf on their head, it is permissible for them to wipe over it after wiping a part of their head in any place. This is easily done at the front of the head. This means the woman begins by wiping the front of her head from under the headscarf, then completes the wiping to the back of the head from over the headscarf. If the woman wipes over the headscarf on her head and the moisture reaches the scalp or some hair within the boundaries of the head, it suffices for wiping the head. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the wisdom behind the legislation of fasting?

Fasting is a divine school from which the believer learns much and trains in virtues that may be needed in life. Among these virtues is patience, as it is the month of patience. Fasting also teaches honesty and consciousness of Allah in both private and public, for there is no observer over the fasting person in abstaining from lawful pleasures except Allah alone.
Fasting strengthens willpower, sharpens determination, and nurtures mercy and compassion among the servants of Allah. It is a struggle against the self, a restraint of desires, a purification of the soul, and a cultivation of goodness.
The Prophetﷺ said: "Allah, the Almighty, said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him, except for fasting; it is for Me, and I shall reward for it. Fasting is a shield. So when one of you is fasting on a day, let him not engage in obscene speech or raise his voice in anger. If someone insults him or fights him, let him say: I am a fasting person. By Him in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the breath of the fasting person is more pleasant to Allah than the fragrance of musk.’" [Bukhari and Muslim]