Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible to offer condolences to a non-Muslim?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible to offer condolences (Ta'ziyah) to a non-Muslim upon the death of their relatives. This constitutes a form of benevolent treatment (Birr) that we have been commanded to observe. Allah Almighty states {what means}: "Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes—from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly." (Surah Al-Mumtahinah, 60:8). And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on performing the obligatory prayer immediately after the commencement of the Adhan?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible to perform the obligatory prayer (Fard) immediately after the commencement of the prayer time. As the Adhan (call to prayer) serves as a sign that the time has entered, it is permissible to pray as soon as the Adhan begins. However, it is recommended (Mustahabb) for whoever hears the Mu’adhin to repeat what he says. If the Adhan occurs while one is already engaged in prayer, he should repeat the words of the Mu’adhin after he has completed his prayer. And Allah the Exalted knows best.

In the Sharia-compliant viewing  at a prospective bride (*al-naẓrah al-sharʿiyyah*), is it permissible for the man to see the woman without a veil (*ḥijāb*)?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is sunnah for the suitor to see the woman he is seeking to marry within the limits the Sharīʿah permits, namely looking at the face and the hands (palms and backs), based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Look at her, for it is more likely to bring about harmony between you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhī.
The suitor may also ask one of the women to look at the woman he is seeking to marry. In that case, she is permitted to see of her what she is normally permitted to see, which is not limited to the face and hands, and she then describes these matters to the suitor. It is narrated on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sent Umm Sulaym to look at a girl, and said: “Smell her breath, and look at her heels.” Narrated by Aḥmad in his Musnad.
It is stated in Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.7/p.192): “For one who cannot easily look, or does not wish to look himself, it is sunnah to send someone who is permitted to look at her, to observe her and describe her to him, even regarding what he himself is not permitted to look at. He thereby gains through the sending what he would not gain through looking. Because of the added need for this, it is excepted from the prohibition of a woman describing another woman to a man.”
The permissibility of looking is conditional upon his resolve to marry her once he is able to, his predominant assumption that his proposal will be accepted, and his assumption that the woman is free of marriage and of a waiting period (ʿiddah). Otherwise, looking is forbidden.
Accordingly, it is not permissible for the suitor to look at anything other than the face and hands. He may ask one of his maḥram women, such as his mother or sister, to see the woman unveiled, and the Sharia-compliant viewing (of a prospective bride) must take place in the presence of one of the woman’s maḥrams. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on praying in congregation at the mosque?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Congregational prayer (Salat al-Jama‘ah) is a communal obligation (Fard Kifayah) for resident men regarding the performance of the prescribed (obligatory) prayers. For men, praying in congregation at the mosque is better than praying elsewhere, such as at home. On the authority of Abdullah bin Umar, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Prayer in congregation is twenty-seven degrees more excellent than the prayer of a person alone' (Reported by Bukhari & Muslim). Furthermore, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Shall I not tell you that by which Allah erases sins and raises ranks?' They said, 'Of course, O Messenger of Allah.' He said: 'Performing wudu thoroughly despite difficulties, taking many steps toward the mosques, and waiting for the next prayer after the prayer; that is your Ribat (steadfastness)' (Narrated by Muslim).
 
As for a woman, her praying in congregation at home is better for her than in the mosque, according to the saying of our Master the Prophet ﷺ: 'Do not prevent your women from attending the mosques, but their homes are better for them' (Narrated by Abu Dawood). Young boys should be encouraged to attend the mosques and congregational prayers so they may become accustomed to them. And Allah the Exalted knows best.