Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on a father shaking hands with his son’s wife after she has been divorced three times?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The wife of one’s son is among the women permanently prohibited to the husband’s father as soon as the marriage contract  is concluded, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted: “Prohibited to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, your maternal aunts, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers, your foster sisters, your wives’ mothers, and your stepdaughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives with whom you have consummated marriage. But if you have not consummated marriage with them, there is no sin upon you. [Also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.” [al-Nisāʾ/23]
This prohibition begins once the son’s marriage contract with his wife is complete, and it remains in force even if the son separates from her before consummation or before any seclusion (khalwah) with her. It is therefore permissible for the father to shake her hand and to be alone with her, provided there is no fitnah (temptation) and no suspicion.
It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (p. 204): “It is forbidden to marry… the wives of one’s fathers and of one’s sons. All of these women become prohibited by the mere contract, … all of that being a permanent prohibition.” End quote, with slight adaptation. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is the niṣāb calculated based on the price of 21-karat gold, or 24-karat gold?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Zakāh is obligatory on cash and on gold designated for saving or for trade, provided the total reaches the niṣāb (minimum threshold liable for zakah), and a full ḥawl (lunar year) has elapsed over it. The niṣāb is (85) grams of 24-karat gold; for 21-karat gold, the niṣāb equals (97) grams; and for 18-karat gold, it equals (113) grams.
The relied-upon position is to calculate the zakāh based on the buying price [i.e., the price the gold merchant would pay the owner to purchase the gold from him] on the day the zakāh obligation is due.
The one paying zakāh may assess/calculate the niṣāb using any of the aforementioned gold karats [i.e., he may choose whichever karat standard he wishes for the purpose of the calculation]. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on Jumu‘ah (Friday) prayer for a traveler, and what are the conditions for it to be waived from him?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Jumu‘ah (Friday) prayer is not obligatory upon a traveler, whether on a long or short journey, provided that — according to the Shāfi‘ī school — he departs from his place of residence before the time for Fajr prayer begins, and that he does not intend to stay in the place he travels to for four days or more, excluding the day of arrival and the day of departure. If he intends to stay longer than that, he may not make use of the travel concession simply by arriving in that town. If he begins his journey after the adhān for Fajr has already been called, then Jumu‘ah prayer remains obligatory upon him, whether in his own town or in any town where Jumu‘ah is being held.
It is stated in Bushrā al-Karīm (Vol.1/p.383), from the books of the Shāfi‘ī school: "Jumu‘ah [prayer] is not obligatory upon a traveler on a permissible journey, whether long or short, if he departs from his place of residence before Fajr."
A "short journey" refers to travel covering a distance shorter than that of a long journey — that is, less than (81 km). The traveler begins to be entitled to travel concessions once he passes beyond the built-up limits of his town. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

Is it permissible to offer mandatory prayer while sitting?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Standing up is a pillar in the mandatory prayer and the prayer is not valid without it unless one cannot do it. As for Nafila (supererogatory prayer), one can perform it in the state of sitting even if he/she can stand, but his/her reward is half the reward of the person who prays while standing if he/sh has no legal excuse for such an act. And Allah Knows Best.