Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on swearing a false oath by the Holy Quran?

Swearing a false oath by the Holy Quran dips the oath-taker in Hellfire, and one who had done so should turn to Allah in repentance, seek His forgiveness, give back rights to whom they belong, and pay the oath expiation.

What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
There are several Sunnahs and etiquettes that are recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah (sacrifice) to observe, including:
 
1. Refraining from Cutting Hair and Nails
It is Sunnah for the one intending to sacrifice to refrain from removing any hair or nails once the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begin.
 
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When the ten days [of Dhul-Hijjah] begin and one of you intends to offer a sacrifice, let him not touch [remove] any of his hair or skin." [Narrated by Muslim].
 
If someone does remove any hair or nails, they have not committed a sin, and their sacrifice remains valid.
 
2. Performing the Slaughter Personally (or Witnessing it)
It is recommended for the person offering the sacrifice to slaughter the animal themselves. If they are unable to do so, they should witness the slaughter.
 
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her): "Stand and witness your sacrifice, for indeed, with its first drop of blood, your [previous sins] are forgiven." [Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Al-Tabarani; it is classified as a weak (da'if) hadith].
 
3. Facing the Qiblah
The animal should be positioned to face the Qiblah at the time of slaughter, as the Qiblah is the most noble of directions.
 
4. Mentioning Allah's Name (Tasmiyah)
The slaughterer should say: "Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim" (In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful). Even if one forgets to say it, the sacrifice is still permissible to eat.
 
Allah (Blessed and Exalted be He) says: "So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned" [Al-An'am: 118].
 
It is also recommended to send blessings upon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and to say "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) after the Tasmiyah.
 
5. Supplicating for Acceptance
The slaughterer should pray for the sacrifice to be accepted by saying:
 
"O Allah, this is from You and for You, so please accept it from me." (Allahumma hadhihi minka wa ilayka, fataqabbal minni).
 
And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on a person in a state of major impurity (junub) or a menstruating woman (ha'id) reciting the Quran from memory?

It is not permissible for a menstruating woman, a postpartum woman, or a person in a state of major impurity to recite anything from the Quran, whether from memory, from the Quran, from a phone, or a computer. It is also not permissible for them to touch the Quran, based on what was reported from Ali bin Abi Talib that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was not prevented from anything regarding the Quran except major impurity (janabah). (Reported by al-Tirmidhi who said it is a hasan sahih hadith). Menstruation and postpartum bleeding are analogous to major impurity (janabah) as they are all major impurities (hadath akbar).
For those mentioned, it is permissible to mention Allah and supplicate even with verses from the Quran, provided they do not intend them as recitation of the Quran, but intend them as remembrance (dhikr) or supplication (du'a). And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?

It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.