Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on eating or drinking forgetfully during the day in Ramadan or during voluntary fasting?

Whoever eats or drinks forgetfully while fasting, whether in an obligatory or voluntary fast, should continue their fast, for it is Allah who has provided them with food and drink. There is no difference between obligatory and voluntary fasting in this ruling.

What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
There are several Sunnahs and etiquettes that are recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah (sacrifice) to observe, including:
 
1. Refraining from Cutting Hair and Nails
It is Sunnah for the one intending to sacrifice to refrain from removing any hair or nails once the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begin.
 
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When the ten days [of Dhul-Hijjah] begin and one of you intends to offer a sacrifice, let him not touch [remove] any of his hair or skin." [Narrated by Muslim].
 
If someone does remove any hair or nails, they have not committed a sin, and their sacrifice remains valid.
 
2. Performing the Slaughter Personally (or Witnessing it)
It is recommended for the person offering the sacrifice to slaughter the animal themselves. If they are unable to do so, they should witness the slaughter.
 
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her): "Stand and witness your sacrifice, for indeed, with its first drop of blood, your [previous sins] are forgiven." [Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Al-Tabarani; it is classified as a weak (da'if) hadith].
 
3. Facing the Qiblah
The animal should be positioned to face the Qiblah at the time of slaughter, as the Qiblah is the most noble of directions.
 
4. Mentioning Allah's Name (Tasmiyah)
The slaughterer should say: "Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim" (In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful). Even if one forgets to say it, the sacrifice is still permissible to eat.
 
Allah (Blessed and Exalted be He) says: "So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned" [Al-An'am: 118].
 
It is also recommended to send blessings upon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and to say "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) after the Tasmiyah.
 
5. Supplicating for Acceptance
The slaughterer should pray for the sacrifice to be accepted by saying:
 
"O Allah, this is from You and for You, so please accept it from me." (Allahumma hadhihi minka wa ilayka, fataqabbal minni).
 
And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on someone who prays but does not fast, without a valid excuse?

Fasting is one of the pillars of Islam, and a Muslim's faith is incomplete if they neglect the obligation of fasting while being physically capable of observing it.

Is it permissible for a woman who has become pure before the end of forty days of confinement to perform different acts of worship? and is it lawful for her husband to have sex with her?

Once postpartum bleeding ceases and she is certain that it won`t happen again, she becomes pure, and so she should perform Ghusl (ritual bath), pray, and fast. She can also have sex with her husband even before the end of (40) days because the minimum of postpartum bleeding is a moment, and the maximum is (60) days. However, the postpartum bleeding for the majority of women is (40) days, but this does not apply to rest of them.