Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

Article Number [ Previous | Next ]

Read for Author




Comments


Captcha


Warning: this window is not dedicated to receive religious questions, but to comment on topics published for the benefit of the site administrators—and not for publication. We are pleased to receive religious questions in the section "Send Your Question". So we apologize to readers for not answering any questions through this window of "Comments" for the sake of work organization. Thank you.




Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on the follower`s prayer if the Imam stands for a fifth rak`ah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
If the Imam stands up for an extra unit (rak‘ah) of prayer out of forgetfulness, he must return to the sitting position as soon as he remembers, and he should perform the prostration of forgetfulness (Sujud al-Sahw). It is the duty of the congregants (Ma’mumin) behind him to remind him. However, if the Imam is in a state of doubt regarding the extra unit (and not certainty), it is not permissible for him to return.
 
As for the congregants: anyone who is certain that the Imam has stood for an extra unit is forbidden from following him. In this case, the follower has two choices: either intend to separate from the Imam (Mufaraqah) and finish the prayer alone, or wait for the Imam in the sitting position and perform the final salams with him—the latter being the preferred option. If a follower knowingly follows the Imam into an extra unit, their prayer becomes invalid. However, if a follower is in doubt and not certain of the mistake, they must continue following the Imam, as the Imam was appointed to be followed.
 
It is stated in Al-Majmu’ (Vol.4/P.145): 'If [the Imam] stands for a fifth rak‘ah, the follower should not follow him, even if it is assumed that the Imam might have omitted a pillar from a previous unit; because if the reality is known, following him is impermissible since the follower has certainly completed their own prayer. Even if the follower had missed a previous unit (Masbuq) or was in doubt about performing a pillar like the Fatihah, and the Imam stood for the fifth, it is not permissible for the latecomer to follow him in it. This is because we know that this unit is not counted for the Imam and that he is mistaken in performing it.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What is the ruling on the ablution of one who touches women prohibited to him by a temporary prohibition (mahram bi-hurma mu'aqqata)?

It is prohibited to touch a woman who is temporarily prohibited (meaning one whom it becomes permissible to marry after the impediment is removed, such as the wife of a brother or paternal uncle). Touching her without a barrier invalidates ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the best manner in distributing the meat of the Aqeeqah?

It is better to divide all of it as cooked meat amongst the poor and the needy. Dividing it into three portions is a Sunnah, but it is permissible to keep all of it provided that a portion, even a small one, is given to the poor and needy (one kilo for example).

Is it required to fast consecutively when making up missed fasts?

● It is preferable to fast consecutively when making up missed fasts if they were missed due to a valid excuse.
● However, if the fasts were missed without a valid excuse, then fasting consecutively is obligatory, because making up the missed fasts in this case must be done immediately.
Separating the makeup fasts goes against the obligation of immediacy, but if someone does so, their fasts will still be valid. However, they will be sinful for delaying without a valid reason.