Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on one who vowed not to speak to a certain person, then forgot his vow and spoke to him?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Whoever swears an oath or makes a vow to abstain from something has a choice: if he wishes, he may keep to his vow, or if he wishes, he may offer the expiation of an oath (kaffārat yamīn). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The expiation for a vow is the expiation for an oath.” Narrated by Muslim. This type of vow is called a nadhr al-lajāj (a vow made in stubbornness or anger).
If a person makes a vow and then forgets it, nothing is due from him, for forgetfulness is among the excuses that lift legal responsibility (taklīf) from a Muslim. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Actions are judged only by intentions, and every person will have only what he intended.” [Narrated by al-Bukhārī]. There is no intention for the one who forgets or errs. It is also based on the report: “Indeed, Allah has pardoned for my Ummah mistakes, forgetfulness, and what they are compelled to do.” Narrated by Ibn Mājah and others, and graded authentic by Ibn Ḥibbān and al-Ḥākim.
It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (p. 243), one of the books of the Shāfiʿī school: “Whoever swears, [for example], ‘I will not enter the house,’ and then enters it forgetfully, ignorantly, under compulsion, or being carried, he does not break his oath.” And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on reciting aloud (*jahr*) in a silent (*sirriyyah*) prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Reciting aloud (jahr) in the Fajr prayer, in the first two rakʿahs of Maghrib and ʿIshāʾ, and reciting silently (isrār) in the Dhuhr and ʿAṣr prayers is a sunnah. If the worshipper recites aloud where silence is prescribed, or the reverse, his prayer is valid, although it is better to follow the sunnah, in imitation of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Abū Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “In every prayer there is recitation. What the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) let us hear, we let you hear, and what he concealed from us, we conceal from you. If you add nothing to Umm al-Qurʾān (al-Fātiḥah), it suffices, and if you add to it, it is better.” Narrated by al-Bukhārī.
Shaykh al-Islām Imam al-Nawawī (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Majmūʿ (Vol.3/389): “The sunnah is to recite aloud in the two rakʿahs of Ṣubḥ (Fajr), Maghrib, and ʿIshāʾ, and in the Friday prayer, and to recite silently in Dhuhr, ʿAṣr, the third rakʿah of Maghrib, and the third and fourth of ʿIshāʾ. All of this is by the consensus of the Muslims, together with the mutually reinforcing authentic ḥadīths on the matter. This is the ruling for the imam. As for the individual worshipper (munfarid), it is sunnah for him to recite aloud according to us and according to the majority… If he recites aloud where silence is prescribed, or the reverse, his prayer is not invalidated, nor is there a prostration of forgetfulness (sujūd al-sahw) for it, but he has committed something disliked (makrūh).” And Allah Almighty knows best.

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the virtue of performing ‘Umrah in Ramadan?

Ibn ‘Abbas narrated: "When the Prophet ﷺ returned from his Hajj, he said to Umm Sinan Al-Ansariyyah: ‘What prevented you from performing Hajj?’ She replied: ‘Abu So-and-so (referring to her husband) had two camels—he performed Hajj on one of them, and the other was used to irrigate our land.’ The Prophet ﷺ then said: ‘Performing ‘Umrah in Ramadan is equivalent to Hajj with me.’" [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
The Prophet ﷺ also said: "An ‘Umrah in Ramadan is equivalent to a Hajj." [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]
For those who miss the opportunity to perform ‘Umrah in Ramadan, there are many other ways to earn great rewards. One of them is praying Fajr in congregation, then remaining in the mosque remembering Allah until sunrise, and praying two rak‘ahs.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever prays Fajr in congregation, then sits remembering Allah until the sun rises, and then prays two rak‘ahs, will receive the reward of a complete Hajj and ‘Umrah—complete, complete, complete." [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]