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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on forgetting an integral of the prayer?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Whoever forgets an integral (Rukn) of the prayer and remembers it before reaching the equivalent point in the subsequent unit (Rak'ah), must return to it (i.e., perform it) and complete his prayer, then perform the prostration of forgetfulness (Sujud al-Sahw) at the end of his prayer. However, if he remembers it after reaching the equivalent point in the subsequent unit, the Rak'ah in which the integral was forgotten is invalidated, and the current unit takes its place; he then completes a full Rak'ah to compensate and performs the prostration of forgetfulness.
 
It is stated in Nihayat al-Muhtaj ila Sharh al-Minhaj (Vol.1/P.543): 'If he becomes certain at the end of his prayer, or after the Salam—provided the interval is not long according to custom and he has not stepped on an impurity—that he omitted a prostration from the final Rak'ah, he must perform it and repeat the Tashahhud, as his previous Tashahhud occurred before its proper place. If the omission was from a Rak'ah other than the final one, he must perform a full Rak'ah, because the deficient unit was completed by a prostration from the subsequent one, rendering the rest of that subsequent unit void.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on giving the expiation of an oath (Kaffarat al-Yamin) to a charity that feeds the poor?

 

 

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.

It is allowed for a Muslim to appoint a proxy (agent) to distribute the expiation (Kaffarah) on their behalf. Our jurists have explicitly stated the permissibility of delegation (Tawkil) in the distribution of Zakat, Kaffarah, and vows (Nadr).

It is stated in Mughni al-Muhtaj (Vol.3/P.237): 'One has the right to pay the Zakat of their wealth personally... and they also have the right to delegate it.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What should someone do if they fasted for 30 days in their country, then traveled to a place where people are still fasting?

If a person completes 30 days of fasting in their country and then travels to another country where people are still fasting, they should continue fasting with them until they observe Eid. Even if they have already completed 30 days, he/she should abstain from eating and drinking and join the people of that country because he/she has now become part of that community.