Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for household members to pool money for the Udhiyah and gift it to one of them?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible for members of a household to pool their money together and gift the total amount to one individual among them so that he may offer the sacrifice (Udhiyah). In this case, the family members receive the reward for giving charity (Sadaqah), and the one performing the sacrifice includes them in the spiritual reward (Thawab).
 
Furthermore, slaughtering a single sheep (on one's own) is considered religously better than participating as one of seven people in the sacrifice of a cow or a camel. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on performing the Istikhara prayer after the Witr paryer?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The Istikhara prayer (Prayer for seeking guidance) is a Sunnah. It consists of two units (rak’ahs) performed outside of the obligatory prayers, after which the person supplicates with the traditionally narrated du’a. It is permissible to perform it before or after the Witr prayer, as the Istikhara prayer is recommended at all times except during the disliked times—the periods in which prayer is prohibited. This is because its specific reason (the Istikhara and supplication) occurs after the prayer itself, and any prayer with a subsequent reason is not permitted during the prohibited times. It should be noted that the two rak’ahs of Istikhara are not fulfilled by performing only one rak’ah, nor by a prostration of recitation (Sajdat al-Tilawah), nor by a funeral prayer (Janazah). And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What is the ruling on one who vowed not to speak to a certain person, then forgot his vow and spoke to him?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Whoever swears an oath or makes a vow to abstain from something has a choice: if he wishes, he may keep to his vow, or if he wishes, he may offer the expiation of an oath (kaffārat yamīn). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The expiation for a vow is the expiation for an oath.” Narrated by Muslim. This type of vow is called a nadhr al-lajāj (a vow made in stubbornness or anger).
If a person makes a vow and then forgets it, nothing is due from him, for forgetfulness is among the excuses that lift legal responsibility (taklīf) from a Muslim. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Actions are judged only by intentions, and every person will have only what he intended.” [Narrated by al-Bukhārī]. There is no intention for the one who forgets or errs. It is also based on the report: “Indeed, Allah has pardoned for my Ummah mistakes, forgetfulness, and what they are compelled to do.” Narrated by Ibn Mājah and others, and graded authentic by Ibn Ḥibbān and al-Ḥākim.
It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (p. 243), one of the books of the Shāfiʿī school: “Whoever swears, [for example], ‘I will not enter the house,’ and then enters it forgetfully, ignorantly, under compulsion, or being carried, he does not break his oath.” And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a woman in her menstrual period to recite from the Mus-haf (copy of the Quran ), or to recite by heart?

A menstruating woman is permitted neither to recite nor to touch the Quran according to what Ali Bin Abi Talib (May Allah be pleased with him) reported about the Prophet (PBUH) who was only held from reciting the Holy Quran by Janabah (Major impurity) [Al-Tirmizi in a sound Hadith]. Although Janabah and menstruation are major impurities, a menstruating woman is permitted to supplicate Allah (Duaa`) and make Zikr (Tasbihat ), even if these involved saying words from the Holy Quran, provided that she does not mean the words for themselves but as a supplication, or Zikr. Moreover, she is rewarded for not reciting the Quran during her menstrual period because she abided by the injunctions of Allah.