Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the amount of food to be given to a needy person for fidyah and kaffarah?

The amount of food to be given to a needy person is 600 grams of wheat or rice.
According to the Hanafi school, it is permissible to give the monetary equivalent instead, and this is the ruling issued by the General Iftaa` Department.

What is the ruling on the fasting of a woman who has reached menopause if menstrual blood flows?

If a woman reaches the age of menopause (which is usually sixty-two) and her menses have ceased, then she sees blood after that, and its duration is not less than a day and a night (24 hours), it is menstruation (hayd). If it is less than a day and a night, she is considered as having non-menstrual vaginal bleeding (mustahada), so she fasts and prays. However, she must perform ablution for every obligatory prayer after its time enters, pray immediately, and be treated as a person with a continuous condition. There is no specific end limit for a woman's menstruation; it is possible as long as the woman is alive. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

I vowed to give a specific charity if a certain matter came to pass — what is the ruling on giving that charity before the matter is realised?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Fulfilling a vow (nadhr) is obligatory, in accordance with the word of Allah the Almighty: "And let them fulfil their vows." [Al-Ḥajj/ 29] And the saying of our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: "Whoever vows to obey Allah, let him obey Him; and whoever vows to disobey Him, let him not disobey Him." (Reported by al-Bukhārī.)
The Shāfiʿī scholars distinguished between a financial vow (nadhr mālī) and a bodily vow (nadhr badanī). They permitted the fulfilment of a financial vow to be brought forward — before the stipulated condition is met — but did not permit the same for a bodily vow, which may only be fulfilled after the condition has actually been realised.
Shaykh al-Islām Imām Zakariyyā al-Anṣārī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "It is permissible to bring forward the fulfilment of a financial vow before the condition stipulated in it is met — such as saying: 'If I am healed, I vow to free a slave' or 'to give such-and-such in charity' — just as it is permissible to pay zakāh in advance. This is unlike a bodily vow, such as fasting." [Asnā al-Maṭālib, vol. 4/P.246]
Imām al-Bājūrī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "Like expiation other than fasting, a financial vow — such as saying: 'If Allah heals my sick one, I vow to free a slave for the sake of Allah,' or 'If Allah heals my sick one, I vow to free a slave on the Friday following the recovery' — it is permissible to bring it forward before the recovery in the first case, and before the Friday following the recovery in the second case." [Ḥāshiyat al-Bājūrī ʿalā Sharḥ Ibn Qāsim, Vol.2/P.596] And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the validity of the formula for sending blessings upon our master Muḥammad ﷺ: *"Allāhumma ṣalli wa sallim wa bārik ‘alā sayyidinā Muḥammad wa ‘alā ālihi, ‘adada kamāli-Llāhi wa kamā yalīqu bikamālihi"* ("O Allah, send blessings, peace, and grace upon our master Muḥammad and his family, by the number of Allah's perfection, and as befits His perfection")?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is permissible to send blessings upon our master, the Prophet ﷺ, using the formula mentioned in the question, since sending blessings upon the Prophet ﷺ is an act of devotion legislated in its basic essence, without a specific prescribed wording required outside of the formal prayer itself. It is therefore valid to perform it outside of prayer using any formula. This particular formula involves multiplying the blessings sent upon the Chosen Prophet ﷺ to the number of the perfections of Allah, the Exalted — which are limitless — so that, by Allah's permission, its reward and benefit never cease.
The meaning of "the number of Allah's perfection" is that it is without limit, making the blessings sent boundless, corresponding to His perfection, Glorified is He, which cannot be enumerated or counted. This formula is analogous to the words of our Greatest Prophet ﷺ, as related in the authentic ḥadīth narrated by Imam Muslim: the Prophet ﷺ said to Sayyidah Juwayriyyah (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā): "Indeed, I said four phrases after you [left], three times, which, if weighed against everything you have said since this morning, would outweigh them: Subḥān Allāhi wa biḥamdihi, ‘adada khalqihi, wa riḍā nafsihi, wa zinata ‘arshihi, wa midāda kalimātihi" (Glory be to Allah, and praise be to Him, by the number of His creation, by His pleasure, by the weight of His Throne, and by the extent of His words). And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.