Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is a person who forgot to make up missed fasts until the next Ramadan began required to pay expiatory compensation (Fidyah) alongside the makeup fast (Qada')?

 
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Whoever forgets to make up missed fasts of Ramadan (Qada') until the following Ramadan begins incurs no sin, pursuant to the statement of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him): "Indeed, Allah has pardoned for my nation their mistakes, their forgetfulness, and that which they are coerced into doing." [Narrated by Ibn Majah, and Al-Bayhaqi in Al-Sunan Al-Kubra]
 
Furthermore, such an individual is not obligated to pay a expiatory compensation (Fidyah). It is stated in Bushra Al-Karim (p. 580)—one of the authoritative Shafi'i jurisprudential texts: "As for delaying it [the makeup fasts] due to a valid excuse—such as travel, breastfeeding, forgetfulness, or ignorance of the prohibition of delay (even for one living among scholars)—no Fidyah is required. This is because delaying performance during the actual month is permissible due to these excuses; hence, delaying makeup fasts is even more permissible, even if it continues for years."
And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on a suitor (khāṭib) going out alone with his fiancée before the marriage contract is concluded?

It is unlawful for a suitor, prior to the marriage contract , to do anything that would be unlawful for any non-maḥram man — including touching his fiancée, being secluded with her (khalwah), or seeing her without her complete sharī‘ah-compliant covering — even after the recitation of al-Fātiḥah (This is a cultural custom to seek Allah's blessing (barakah) and mark mutual consent) and the family's approval [of the engagement]. This is because the engagement, without the formal marriage contract, does not render unlawful matters permissible. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

How is the niṣāb (minimum threshold) of gold calculated when one owns gold of multiple different karats?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Zakāh is obligatory on cash and on gold designated for saving or for trade, provided the total reaches the niṣāb (minimum threshold liable for Zakah), and a full ḥawl (lunar year) has elapsed over it. The niṣāb is (85) grams of 24-karat gold; for 21-karat gold, the niṣāb equals (97) grams; and for 18-karat gold, it equals (113) grams.
If one owns gold of multiple different karats, the person paying zakāh should calculate the monetary value of all the gold he owns, combining these values together to determine whether the total reaches the niṣāb. He then pays zakāh on this combined monetary value, once the total reaches the niṣāb. The relied-upon position is to calculate the zakāh based on the buying price [i.e., the price the gold merchant would pay the owner to purchase the gold from him] on the day the zakāh obligation is due. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

When does the time for the 'aqīqah lapse and pass?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the guardian was financially capable (mūsir) during the majority of the postnatal period (nifās) — which is sixty days — then the obligation of the 'aqīqah remains upon him until the child reaches the age of maturity (bulūgh). Once the child reaches maturity, the demand falls away from the father and those like him. At that point, it becomes Sunnah for the child himself to perform the 'aqīqah on his own behalf.
However, if the guardian was financially incapable (mu'sir) during the postnatal period, and then became financially capable after its expiry — that is, after sixty days — the 'aqīqah is no longer required of him. And Allah Almighty knows best.