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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it incumbent on a husband to pay the alimony of his wife if she had left him and stayed at her parent`s without his permission?

When a wife leaves her house, and stays at her parent`s without asking her husband, she is considered a Nashiz (wife who refuses to abide by her husband’s orders), and so she doesn`t deserve an alimony.

What is the ruling on undoing braids of hair during the ritual bath?

It is not a condition to undo braids if the water reaches all the hair and penetrates to its base. If the water does not reach except by undoing the braids, then it is obligatory to undo them for the water to reach. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible to offer an Udhiyah on behalf of the deceased?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Offering a sacrifice (Udhiyah) on behalf of the deceased is permissible. This is the position of the Hanbalis [Kashshaf al-Qina’ by al-Bahuti (Vol.6/P.428)], and it was held by al-Abbadi of the Shafi’is [Bidayat al-Muhtaj by Ibn Qadi Shuhbah (Vol.4/P.358)]; it is also narrated from some Maliki and Hanafi scholars.
 
Abu Dawud included a chapter in his Sunan titled "Chapter: Offering the Sacrifice on Behalf of the Deceased," in which he narrated from Hanash, who said: "I saw Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) sacrificing two rams. I asked him, 'What is this?' He replied, 'The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) enjoined me to sacrifice on his behalf, so I am sacrificing on his behalf.'"
 
Abu Dawud also narrated from Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O Allah, this is from You and for You, on behalf of Muhammad and his Ummah; in the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest," then he slaughtered it. It is well known that among the Ummah of Muhammad (peace be upon him) are those who have passed away, yet he (peace be upon him) dedicated it to his entire Ummah.
 
Furthermore, multiple Sharia texts have consistently indicated that the rewards of righteous deeds reach the deceased. This includes the permissibility of fasting on behalf of the deceased if they died owing fasts, as well as the permissibility of performing Hajj on their behalf, both of which are established in authentic Hadiths. Since the rewards for fasting—a physical act of worship—and Hajj—a physical and financial act of worship—reach the deceased, then the sacrifice (Udhiyah) is even more likely to reach them.
 
Moreover, the scholars have reached a consensus (Ijma') that the rewards of charities reach the deceased, and the Udhiyah is a form of charity and falls under its general category. Based on all of this, we hold the view that offering a sacrifice on behalf of the deceased is permissible. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What should I do in order to wake up for Fajr (dawn) prayer?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds                                                                                                                                                                What should I do in order to wake up for Fajr (dawn) prayer? Answer: Some of the acts that aid in offering Fajr prayer are: 1- Going to bed early. 2-  Willingness to wake up. 3- Reciting Al-Korsi verse from Chapter Al-Baqarah. 4- Taking refuge in Allah from the cursed devil, and making ablution immediatley after being awake, but it is preferable to ask someone to help in this regard to perform the Fajr prayer. And Allah Knows Best.