Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

 
Are the mother's maternal and paternal uncles, and the father's maternal and paternal uncles, considered among the unmarriageable kin (Maharim)?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
A mother’s maternal uncle and her paternal uncle, as well as a father’s maternal uncle and his paternal uncle, are all considered among the unmarriageable kin (Maharim). And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What is the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The Sharia basis of the Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) is firmly established through the Quran, the Sunnah, and the Consensus (Ijma') of the Muslims:
1. Evidence from the Holy Quran
Allah the Exalted says {what means}: "And the camels and cattle We have appointed for you as among the symbols of Allah; for you therein is good." [Al-Hajj/36]. He also says {what means}: "So pray to your Lord and sacrifice [to Him alone]" [Al-Kawthar/2]. According to the most well-known scholarly interpretations of this verse, "prayer" refers to the Eid prayer, and "sacrifice" refers to the slaughtering of the Udhiyah.
2. Evidence from the Sunnah
Al-Bara' bin 'Azib (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: "The first thing we start with on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and sacrifice. Whoever does that has followed our Sunnah, and whoever slaughters before [the prayer], it is merely meat he has provided for his family; it is not part of the ritual sacrifice in any way" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "The Prophet ﷺ sacrificed two white rams with horns. He slaughtered them with his own hand, mentioned the name of Allah (Tasmiyah), and said the Takbir" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
3. Evidence from Scholarly Consensus (Ijma')
The Muslims have reached a unanimous consensus on the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah, and no one among the scholars has disagreed with this. [Al-Sherbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj, Vol.6/P.122].And Allah the Exalted knows best.

Who is required to give fidyah for fasting?

Fidyah—feeding one needy person for each missed fasting day—is required for:
1. Those who are permanently unable to fast, such as:
○ Elderly men and women who are too weak to fast.
○ People with chronic illnesses that have no hope of recovery.
2. Pregnant or breastfeeding women who break their fast out of fear for their child (fetus or infant).
3. A person who delays making up Ramadan fasts (qada) until the next Ramadan begins, without a valid excuse.
4. The estate of a deceased person who had missed obligatory fasts and had the ability to make them up but did not do so.

What is the wisdom behind the legislation of fasting?

Fasting is a divine school from which the believer learns much and trains in virtues that may be needed in life. Among these virtues is patience, as it is the month of patience. Fasting also teaches honesty and consciousness of Allah in both private and public, for there is no observer over the fasting person in abstaining from lawful pleasures except Allah alone.
Fasting strengthens willpower, sharpens determination, and nurtures mercy and compassion among the servants of Allah. It is a struggle against the self, a restraint of desires, a purification of the soul, and a cultivation of goodness.
The Prophetﷺ said: "Allah, the Almighty, said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him, except for fasting; it is for Me, and I shall reward for it. Fasting is a shield. So when one of you is fasting on a day, let him not engage in obscene speech or raise his voice in anger. If someone insults him or fights him, let him say: I am a fasting person. By Him in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the breath of the fasting person is more pleasant to Allah than the fragrance of musk.’" [Bukhari and Muslim]