Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is an animal that results from crossbreeding between two types of livestock (an'ām) valid [for sacrifice]?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
An animal that results from crossbreeding between two types of livestock (an'ām) is valid [for sacrifice], with consideration given to the higher of the two required ages. Thus, in the case of an animal crossbred between sheep (ḍa'n) and goats (ma'z), only one that has reached two years of age is valid [for sacrifice]. And Allah, the Most High, knows best.

A man wishes to offer more than one uḍḥiyah (sacrificial offering), and intends by these sacrifices "on behalf of everyone whom Allah and His Messenger love." Is this intention valid?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The uḍḥiyah (sacrificial offering) is not valid with this intention, because if the sacrificial animal is from sheep or goats, it suffices for one person only; and if it is from cattle or camels, it suffices for seven persons.
However, one may sacrifice it on his own behalf, and then gift the equivalent of its reward to whomever he wishes.
Imam ar-Ramlī (raḥimahullāh) says: "Ash-Shāfi‘ī (raḍiyallāhu ‘anh) said: It is within the vastness of Allah's bounty, the Exalted, that He rewards the one giving charity as well. From this, the scholars of the madhhab said: it is recommended for a person to intend the charity on behalf of his parents, for example — for Allah, the Exalted, will reward them, without this diminishing his own reward in any way." He then relates, as the relied-upon position, the permissibility of saying: "O Allah, convey the reward of what I have recited specifically to so-and-so, and to the Muslims generally." Az-Zarkashī said: "For reward varies in degree — its highest form is what one designates specifically, and its lowest form is what one dedicates generally [alongside others]." [End of quote from Nihāyat al-Muḥtāj]. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on praying alone (munfaridan) in a row, and what should I do if I enter the mosque together with another person, and there is only a single gap in the first row with no second row present — should I fill that gap in the first row, or should I stand together with him in a new second row?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
If a person enters [the congregation] and finds no space available in the row, it is recommended for him — after making his opening takbīr for the prayer — to gently pull someone from the row in front of him to pray alongside him, provided he senses that this person would be agreeable to it. If that person does not agree, then he prays alone, and there is no dislike attached to his doing so in that case.
If he ends up praying alone [behind the row], it is sunnah for him to stand directly behind the imam. Then, if someone else arrives, that person stands to his right; and whoever comes after them stands to his left — and so on — such that the imam remains centered in the middle of the row. This is done so that everyone attains the reward of congregational prayer.
As for the case where two people enter the prayer together, and there is a gap in the row wide enough for only one person, then the two of them should pray together in a new row [of their own], and whoever arrives after them should fill that original gap. This is because if only one of the two fills the gap, the other would end up praying alone [which is to be avoided when it can easily be prevented].
Al-Khaṭīb ash-Shirbīnī (raḥimahullāh) said in Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Vol.1/P.494): "If he does not find space, then it is recommended for him, while still standing, to gently pull a single person from the row toward himself after making his opening takbīr — out of caution, so as to avoid the position held by some scholars that a person's prayer standing alone behind the row is not valid.
Az-Zarkashī and others said: this should only be done if it seems he would agree to it; otherwise, he should not pull anyone — indeed, doing so becomes impermissible, out of fear of causing discord (fitnah). It is recommended for the person being pulled to cooperate and agree, so that he may attain the reward of assisting in righteousness and piety (al-birr wat-taqwā). However, he should not pull one of two people [praying together] from the row, since this would cause one of them to end up praying alone. This is why the 'pulling' described here takes place only after the opening takbīr [i.e., once the person doing the pulling has already validly begun his own prayer]."
Accordingly: it is sunnah for you to pray alongside the person praying alone, and then, if someone else arrives afterward, you may go and fill the gap in the original row. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.