Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for household members to pool money for the Udhiyah and gift it to one of them?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible for members of a household to pool their money together and gift the total amount to one individual among them so that he may offer the sacrifice (Udhiyah). In this case, the family members receive the reward for giving charity (Sadaqah), and the one performing the sacrifice includes them in the spiritual reward (Thawab).
 
Furthermore, slaughtering a single sheep (on one's own) is considered religously better than participating as one of seven people in the sacrifice of a cow or a camel. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on supplicating with other than the transmitted (Ma'thur) supplications in prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to supplicate (make du'a) during the prayer for anything from the affairs of religion or worldly life, and the prayer is not invalidated by doing so.
Shaykh al-Islam, the Imam an-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, says: "Our madhhab [i.e., the Shafi'i madhhab] holds that it is permissible for a person to supplicate during it [the prayer] with anything that is permissible to supplicate with outside the prayer, from the affairs of religion or worldly life. He may say: 'O Allah, grant me wholesome sustenance, offspring, a house, and a beautiful young wife' — describing her; or: 'O Allah, free so-and-so from prison,' or 'destroy so-and-so,' and other such things — and none of this invalidates his prayer according to us. And this is also the view of Malik, ath-Thawri, Abu Thawr, and Ishaq." [Al-Majmu', Vol.3/P.454]. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on praying behind a disliked Imam?

 

 
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is mildly disliked (Makruh Tanzihan) for a man—other than the permanent designated Imam (Imam Ratib)—to lead people in prayer if the majority of them dislike him due to a religiously blameworthy reason (Amr Madhmum Shar‘an), such as associating with open sinners (Fussaq), for example. As for the followers who dislike him, the prayer behind him is not disliked for them. However, if less than the majority dislike him, or if the majority dislike him for a reason that is not religiously blameworthy, then his leading the prayer is not disliked. And Allah the Exalted knows best.

Is it permissible for someone who is unable to fast to pay the fidyah (ransom/compensation payment) to himself, due to his own poverty?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is not permissible, nor does it fulfill the obligation, for a sick person who is currently and permanently unable to fast to pay the fidyah (ransom/compensation payment) to himself, since it is a financial obligation owed by him, established as a standing debt upon him — much like any other debt he owes. If he were to pay it to himself, it would not thereby be discharged. So if he cannot find [anyone eligible to] pay it to, it remains a standing obligation upon him, and is not thereby waived. If Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, later grants him wealth, it becomes obligatory upon him to pay it out to the poor and needy.
Imam al-Khaṭīb ash-Shirbīnī (raḥimahullāh) said: "There is no difference in the obligation of the fidyah between the wealthy and the poor person; its benefit lies in its remaining established as a standing debt upon the poor person [until he is able to pay it] — and this is the more correct position (al-aṣaḥḥ), as indicated by the wording of ar-Rawḍah and its source text." [Mughnī al-Muḥtāj, Vol.2/P.174]
Accordingly: it is not permissible for a Muslim to pay the fidyah to himself while he remains poor. If the sick person is poor, he is not obligated to pay the fidyah immediately, and it remains a standing debt upon him until a time when he has sufficient means and wealth. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.