Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on eating from one`s Udhiyah?

In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) is divided into two categories: the vowed sacrifice (Al-Mandhurah) and the voluntary sacrifice (Al-Tatawwu').
 
First: The Vowed Sacrifice (Al-Mandhurah)
This refers to a sacrifice that has become strictly obligatory due to a formal vow (Nadr). It is completely impermissible for the person offering it, or any members of their family whom they are financially obligated to maintain, to eat any of its meat or fat. Furthermore, it is unlawful for them to personally benefit from its hide, wool, or any other part of it. If they happen to eat any portion of it, the offerer is legally obligated to give an equivalent amount of meat or its monetary value to charity. (As noted in Tuhfat al-Muhtaj by Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami,Vol. 9/P.364).
 
Second: The Voluntary Sacrifice (Al-Tatawwu’)
This is a recommended, non-obligatory sacrifice. The person offering it is fully permitted to eat from its meat, distribute portions as charity to the poor, and give pieces as gifts to those who are well-off. However, it remains a mandatory requirement to donate at least a minor portion of it to charity; this should not be less than approximately half a kilogram of raw, uncooked meat. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes related to the slaughtering of an animal?

 

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
1-Avoid terrifying the animal before it is slaughtered.
 
2-Do not slaughter the animal in front of others of its kind.
 
3-Offer water to the animal before the sacrifice.
 
4-Sharpen the knife thoroughly prior to slaughtering to ensure the cut is made as quickly and cleanly as possible. This is in accordance with the statement of our Master, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "Indeed, Allah, the Almighty and Majestic, has prescribed excellence (Ihsan) in all things. So when you kill, kill well; and when you slaughter, slaughter well. Let each of you sharpen his blade, and let him put his sacrificial animal at ease." (Narrated by Muslim)
 
Do not begin skinning the carcass until you are absolutely certain that the animal has completely passed away.
 
Slaughter cattle, sheep, and goats while they are lying down on their left side, facing the Qiblah (direction of prayer). Leave the right leg untied so the animal can move it, helping it rest more easily during its final moments. For camels, however, the preferred method (Nahr) is to slaughter them while they are standing up, with their left knee tied. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on a fictitious marriage for the purpose of obtaining citizenship?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
There is no such thing in our noble sharīʿah as a "nominal" or "fictitious" marriage or divorce. Marriage and divorce are among the sacred ordinances of Allah, and it is not permissible to manipulate them or use them as a stratagem to obtain worldly gains.
The foundational purpose of a marriage contract is the permanence and continuity of the relationship between the spouses — to establish a family, and to bring forth righteous offspring. So sacred is this bond that Allah the Almighty Himself described it as a solemn covenant (mīthāq ghalīẓ), saying {what means}: "And if you wish to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount of wealth, do not take any of it back. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?" [Al-Nisāʾ/ 20–21]
Accordingly, it is not permissible to resort to manipulation and deception in contracts that Allah, Mighty and Majestic, has described as a "solemn covenant" — all for the sake of material and worldly benefit. Marriage is built upon permanence and does not admit of a fixed time limit. If a time limit is stipulated in the contract, the contract is rendered invalid by the consensus of the jurists. Similarly, marriage is impermissible when there exists a mutual, concealed intention to limit its duration — even if no time limit is explicitly mentioned in the contract — for this constitutes a form of unlawful circumvention of the sharīʿah. This is to say nothing of the lying and deception that such conduct involves, the prohibition of which needs no elaboration. Lying, deception, and fraud for the purpose of obtaining worldly gains are among the gravest of sins.
If, however, the marriage contract is first concluded in a valid sharʿī manner and then registered civilly, it is sound and fully valid. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on one who died owing debts and left no wealth? Is it obligatory upon the heirs to settle these debts?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The general rule is that if a person dies owing rights to other people, such as debts, these are settled from his estate, if he left any wealth, before the estate is divided. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The believer's soul is suspended by his debt until it is settled for him.” Graded ḥasan by al-Tirmidhī. Repayment of debts takes precedence over the heirs’ right to inheritance.
If the deceased left no estate, or left wealth that was insufficient to cover his debts, it is not obligatory for the heirs to pay from their own wealth, but it is recommended for them to do so, because the deceased’s dhimmah (legal liability) remains occupied by the debt. It is reported in some narrations that he remains held in suspension until his debt is paid, and it is not part of filial righteousness for a child to leave his father’s dhimmah burdened with debt.
All of the children may contribute to settling the debt on behalf of their father and cooperate in doing so, even in installments, according to their ability. And Allah Almighty knows best.