Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on the follower`s prayer if the Imam stands for a fifth rak`ah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
If the Imam stands up for an extra unit (rak‘ah) of prayer out of forgetfulness, he must return to the sitting position as soon as he remembers, and he should perform the prostration of forgetfulness (Sujud al-Sahw). It is the duty of the congregants (Ma’mumin) behind him to remind him. However, if the Imam is in a state of doubt regarding the extra unit (and not certainty), it is not permissible for him to return.
 
As for the congregants: anyone who is certain that the Imam has stood for an extra unit is forbidden from following him. In this case, the follower has two choices: either intend to separate from the Imam (Mufaraqah) and finish the prayer alone, or wait for the Imam in the sitting position and perform the final salams with him—the latter being the preferred option. If a follower knowingly follows the Imam into an extra unit, their prayer becomes invalid. However, if a follower is in doubt and not certain of the mistake, they must continue following the Imam, as the Imam was appointed to be followed.
 
It is stated in Al-Majmu’ (Vol.4/P.145): 'If [the Imam] stands for a fifth rak‘ah, the follower should not follow him, even if it is assumed that the Imam might have omitted a pillar from a previous unit; because if the reality is known, following him is impermissible since the follower has certainly completed their own prayer. Even if the follower had missed a previous unit (Masbuq) or was in doubt about performing a pillar like the Fatihah, and the Imam stood for the fifth, it is not permissible for the latecomer to follow him in it. This is because we know that this unit is not counted for the Imam and that he is mistaken in performing it.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.

I hired a private tutor for my son through an academy that sends teachers [to families] and takes a percentage [of their pay]. At the start of the [new] school year, I arranged directly with that same teacher, without the academy's knowledge. What is the ruling on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The ruling on this matter depends on knowing the specific terms of the agreement and contract concluded with the academy. If the agreement stipulates that no arrangement may be made with any of the students except through the academy itself, then it is not permissible for you to breach the terms of this contract, based on the words of our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: "Muslims are bound by their conditions." (Related by al-Bukhārī)
However, if the agreement pertains only to teaching a specific subject, and the agreement concludes once that subject is finished, then there is no objection to arranging with the teacher to teach other subjects after the contract period has ended, outside of the academy.
Whatever the case maybe, the teacher must uphold the terms of his contract with the academy. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on praying seated due to severe obesity, given that I experience hardship in performing the prayer — especially when rising from the ground after sujūd to perform the next rak‘ah?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Standing, when one is able to do so, is a pillar of the prayer. However, whoever would experience severe, intolerable hardship, or fears harm to himself or to a limb due to obesity, or finds that standing causes him to lose his khushū‘ (humble focus and concentration) in prayer, then there is no objection to his praying seated on a chair or on the ground, performing rukū‘ (bowing) and sujūd (prostration) through gesture — provided that the gesture for sujūd is made lower than that for rukū‘. Whoever is able, at any point, to properly perform any one of these pillars, is obligated to perform it in full; for omitting it is a concession that applies only in cases of genuine inability. The Prophet ﷺ said: "When I command you to do something, do of it whatever you are able." (Related by al-Bukhārī). As the scholars of fiqh have established: what remains possible is not waived on account of what is difficult.
The criterion for determining genuine inability, as chosen by Imam al-Ḥaramayn al-Juwaynī (raḥimahullāh), is that the worshipper experiences hardship that causes him to lose his khushū‘.
As for voluntary (nafl) prayer, there is no objection to performing it while seated, even if one is able to stand. However, rukū‘ and sujūd must still be performed [in their proper physical form] by anyone who is able to do so. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on combining more than one intention in the prayer, such as combining the *sunnah* of wuḍūʾ with the pre-Dhuhr *sunnah*, or combining the *sunnah* of greeting the mosque (*taḥiyyat al-masjid*) with the pre-Dhuhr *sunnah*?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Combining two intentions in a single act of worship, which some jurists call the “overlapping of acts of worship”, has several cases and precise rules. These can be consulted in the books of legal maxims, such as al-Manthūr fī al-Qawāʿid al-Fiqhiyyah by al-Zarkashī and al-Ashbāh wa’l-Naẓāʾir by al-Suyūṭī. Among the most important of these rules:
First: If all of the acts of worship that one wishes to combine under one intention are obligatory, the intentions do not overlap. An example is combining the intention of the obligatory ʿAṣr prayer with that of the obligatory Dhuhr prayer. The intentions do not overlap in this case.
Second: If the two acts are specified supererogatory prayers (nawāfil muqayyadah) that are aimed at in themselves because of a particular time, occasion, or cause, or if they are an obligatory prayer and a specified supererogatory prayer, the intentions again do not overlap. An example is the Duha prayer, which may not be combined with, for instance, the regular sunnah of Dhuhr.
It is stated in Bushrā al-Karīm: “Whatever is not, in meaning, an absolute voluntary prayer, such as the Duha sunnah… is not subsumed under another. Rather, if he intends something else along with it… the prayer is not validly entered. This is because combining two obligations, two specified supererogatory prayers, or an obligation and a specified supererogatory prayer invalidates the prayer in cases not built upon overlapping, as ritual purification (ṭahārah) is.”
Third: If the two acts are absolute voluntary prayers (nawāfil muṭlaqah), or one of them is, where the texts of the Sharīʿah show that the aim of the voluntary act is to fill the time with worship, then overlapping of intentions is permissible. An example is the obligatory Dhuhr prayer together with the sunnah of greeting the mosque (taḥiyyat al-masjid). And Allah Almighty knows best.