Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

I broke my oath and am now obligated to pay the expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn). Would it be valid to fulfill this by inviting the poor and needy to a meal for them to eat from?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn) is given to the poor (fuqarā') and needy (masākīn), and it must be given in the form of ownership (tamlīk) transferred to them of the required amount — namely, one mudd of the staple food of the locality, or its equivalent monetary value. It isn`t valid to invite the poor or needy to a meal prepared for them to eat from, as this does not constitute "ownership" (tamlīk) but merely "permission to partake" (ibāḥah).
Imam al-Shirbīnī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "What is intended is that ownership be transferred to them; therefore, providing them with lunch or dinner [as a meal to eat from] isn`t valid." [Summarized from Mughnī al-Muhtāj,Vol. 5/P.50]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on someone who curses the religion or commits an act of disbelief during the day in Ramadan?

Whoever apostatizes (leaves Islam) while fasting, their fast is invalid. Cursing the religion is an act of apostasy (may Allah protect us from it). Such a person must return to Islam by pronouncing the Shahadah (testimony of faith), seek Allah’s forgiveness, refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, and make up for that day’s fast later.

What is the ruling on performing the night prayer (*qiyām al-layl*) between the first and second adhān of Fajr? And which is better: delaying the prayer until shortly before the Fajr adhān, or performing it earlier than that?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The time for night prayer (qiyām al-layl) begins after the Maghrib prayer and lasts until the second adhān of Fajr. The best time for it is the last third of the night, and best of all are the fourth and fifth sixths of the night. If the night is divided into two halves, the latter half is better.
Whoever intends to pray at night is encouraged to delay the Witr until he has prayed the night prayer. If he knows that he will not wake up, it is better for him to pray and perform Witr before sleeping, so that he does not miss both the night prayer and the Witr.
It is stated in Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Vpl.1/p.462): “I say: The voluntary prayer of the night, that is, the absolute voluntary prayer (al-nafl al-muṭlaq), is better than the absolute voluntary prayer of the day, because of the report in Muslim: ‘The best prayer after the obligatory prayer is the night prayer.’ In another narration of his: ‘In the night there is an hour that no Muslim man meets while asking Allah for any good of this world and the next except that He gives it to him, and that is every night.’ It is also because the night is a time of heedlessness. I restricted the voluntary prayer to the absolute kind following the commentator, although what the ḥadīth and the underlying meaning require is that the night rawātib be preferred over the day rawātib, since the jurists preferred the two rakʿahs of Fajr over everything except Witr. The middle of the night is better than its two ends if it is divided into thirds, because heedlessness is greatest then and worship is hardest. If he wishes to pray during some third, the best is the fourth and fifth sixths, based on the ḥadīth in the two Ṣaḥīḥs: ‘The most beloved prayer to Allah the Exalted is the prayer of Dāwūd: he would sleep half the night, stand for a third of it, and sleep for a sixth.’ Then the latter part is better than the first if he divides it into two halves, because of the saying of Allah the Exalted: ‘And in the hours before dawn they would ask forgiveness’ [al-Dhāriyāt: 18], and the report of the two Shaykhs: ‘Our Lord, Blessed and Exalted, descends,’ meaning His command descends, ‘to the lowest heaven when the last third of the night remains, and says: Who calls upon Me, that I may answer him? Who asks of Me, that I may give him? Who seeks My forgiveness, that I may forgive him?’”
It is also stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (p. 60): “It is better to perform it [the Witr] immediately after the sunnah of ʿIshāʾ, unless he has tahajjud, in which case it is better to delay it so that he performs Witr after it. If he performs Witr and then wishes to pray tahajjud, he prays two rakʿahs at a time and does not repeat the Witr, nor does he need to cancel it with a single rakʿah before the tahajjud. It is recommended that he not deliberately pray after it.”
Qiyām al-layl is a term applied to any prayer performed at night. Tahajjud, on the other hand, refers to the night prayer that follows sleep, whether it is prayed after Maghrib or after ʿIshāʾ, or the prayer performed after ʿIshāʾ without sleep. On this basis, the Witr is also called tahajjud, since it is only prayed after ʿIshāʾ.
It is stated in al-Majmūʿ (Vol.4/p.84): “The sound position, as stated in al-Umm and al-Mukhtaṣar, is that the Witr is called tahajjud.”
It is stated in Nihāyat al-Zayn (Vol.1/p.114): “Among the absolute voluntary prayers is qiyām al-layl. If it is performed after sleep, even during the time of Maghrib and after having prayed ʿIshāʾ early (taqdīman), it is called tahajjud.”
And it is stated in Ḥāshiyat al-Bujayrimī ʿalā al-Khaṭīb (Vol.1/p.418): “His statement: ‘(the night prayer)’: the genitive construction (iḍāfah) carries the sense of fī, meaning a prayer in the night. His statement: ‘(it would be more fitting)’: the reason it is more fitting is that the night prayer includes both tahajjud and other prayers.” And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is a woman sinful if she fasts out of shyness from her family while menstruating or in postnatal bleeding?

It is forbidden for a woman who is menstruating or in postnatal bleeding to abstain from food and drink with the intention of fasting. If she fasts out of shyness, she is sinful, as her fast is not valid.
However, if she refrains from eating and drinking without intending to fast, it is not forbidden, but she unnecessarily burdens herself without need.