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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

If the fasting of nine years has accumulated upon me, I wish to make them up by dividing them over several years, as it is difficult to fast them all in one year due to their large number. Consequently, expiation will be due on me. Is it permissible to pay the expiation after completing all the make-up fasts, even if it takes years?
 
 
 
 
 

If the fasting was broken due to a valid legal excuse, it is permissible to divide the make-up fasts over several years based on one’s ability. However, if a person passes away before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must fast on their behalf or feed one needy person for each missed day.
If the fasting was broken without a valid excuse, one must hasten to make it up. Should the person die before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must either fast or feed the needy on their behalf. As for the expiation, it is calculated after completing all the make-up fasts. And Allah Knows Best.
 
 
 
 
 

My husband told me that he concluded our marriage with a fake name that belongs to another person, because he was sentenced. Nowadays, he recieved an ID, passport and birth certificate with the his current name. What is the ruling on being married to him?

Praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.  As regards being married to the person mentioned in your question: The marriage is valid so long as he was the same person your guardian concluded the marriage with, even if he changed his name i.e. if your marriage contract was concluded with the same person, since what counts regarding marriage is the persons not names. And Allah Knows Best.

 

What is the ruling of Sharia on a Muslim woman who committed Zina with a Christian and became pregnant as a result?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Abortion is forbidden in Islam as it entails taking the life of a soul unjustly. Rather, it is one of the major sins; however, it is permissible only when there is well-established danger on the mother`s life; in which situation scholars gave priority to her life over that of the foetus, since this is, according to Sharia: "The lesser of two evils". In case a Muslim woman committed Zina (Adultery) with a Christian and got pregnant, if this did happen, then this question should be presented to the Iftaa` Committee with the presence of the questioner herself. She could also ask a reliable scholar face to face or via phone. If she gives birth to the baby, then he/she is a Muslim and takes the name of his mother; not the name of the man who was a reason for its conception. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.