What should a person, who doubts the validity of his Wudu, or over performs it, do?

One who doubts the validity of his/her Wudu while performing it should redo it until he/she is certain of having attained purity. But, if doubt was after having performed Wudu, then he/she should not pay attention to that as doubt after the end of an act of worship does not count. This is of course in case doubt was within the reasonable limits since once it goes beyond that, it becomes a whispering of the Shaytaan (devil) which he/she should ignore as the Wudu is valid.

When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?

It is offered after Tasleem.

Is it permissible for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her family?

A husband shouldn`t stop his wife from visiting her family, and it is disliked for him to do so because such an act makes them harbor feelings of hatred against him.

I am a disabled woman who has vaginal discharges and can`t control her urine. Therefore, I combine prayers. Is that permissible?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

According to the Hanbali doctrine, it is permissible for the sick to combine prayers. In your case (Asker), it is better that you delay the noon prayer until a few minutes before the afternoon prayer in order to minimize the time span between the two and perform each alone. In addition, you can do the same with sunset and evening prayers. Finally, we ask Allah to bless you with recovery. And Allah Knows Best.