Is it permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah after her husband`s death to sit with her daughter`s suitor, although their marriage contract hasn`t been concluded yet?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
A suitor who hasn`t concluded the marriage contract isn`t a Mahram*, so he must be treated as such. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* The period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.
* In Islam, a mahram is a member of one's family with whom marriage would be considered haram, concealment purdah, or concealment of the body with hijab, is not obligatory; and with whom, if he is an adult male, she may be escorted during a journey, although an escort may not be obligatory.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
Is it permissible to offer Istikhara prayer (seeking guidance) after Witr Prayer (A confirmed Sunnah which is offered after Isha prayer and before Fajir prayer with a minimum of 3 Rak`as and a maximum of 11)?
It is permissible to offer Istikhara before and after Witr prayer as it is permissible at any time except that in which prayer is disliked. And Allah Knows Best.