Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to wear trousers at home?
Wearing trousers at home isn't prohibited so long as non-Mahrams do not see her. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What husband's stand should be, if his wife disagrees with his mother?
Both the mother and the wife have rights on you (Questioner); therefore, you are obliged to treat both justly, resort to wisdom to please both and intiate reestablishing cordial relations among them. And Allah Knows Best.
If the menses lasted for over than 9 to 10 days, considered menstruation?
If the duration of the bleeding does not exceed fifteen days, it is all considered menstruation, even if the usual pattern changes.