I`m a pious Muslim woman, but my husband isn`t, what should I do?
You should exercise patience, make supplication that Allah guides him to the straight path, and keep advising him kindly.
Is it permissible for a menstruating woman to recite the Quran from the computer without actually touching the Quran?
It is not permissible for a woman in her menstrual period, or in postpartum to recite the Quran, even by heart, or without actually touching the Quran itself. Recitation itself is what is prohibited on her regardless of how it is done. However, it is permissible for her to surf through the Quran by her eyes, or to recall it in her head without uttering the words. There is no harm for her to look at the Quranic verses on the computer without touching it, or to utter the words as this is called looking not reciting or reading.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on memorizing the Quran during menstruation, knowing that I do not read directly from the Quran but from a paper or from my phone?
It is not permissible to memorize the Quran during menstruation because memorization requires repetition, and a menstruating woman cannot touch the physical pages of the Quran. Similarly, if the Quranic verses appear on the screen of the phone, it is considered like touching the Quran. And Allah Knows Best.