Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible to listen to chants praising the Prophet if accompanied by musical instruments?
If singing, or chanting in praise of the Prophet was accompanied by a forbidden musical instrument, then it is forbidden.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
Is wearing a cap permissible for boys, or girls?
All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.
In principle, anything is permissible sol long as there is no Sharia evidence prohibiting it, thus wearing the cap by boys is permissible as long as it isn`t done in imitation of the disbelievers. Moreover, a Muslim woman should avoid all that which attracts the attention of men because whatever leads to the forbidden is forbidden. And Allah Knows Best.