عربي
Home


Articles

Articles

Tips for a Happy Family
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 08-12-2022

 

Dear husband,

 

In the beginning, we ask Allah to shower you and your wife with His blessings. We take the opportunity to remind you with the following pieces of advice from Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) to ensure happiness of your household and continued love between you and your wife:

 

1- Your wife is a trust with you and you will be held accountable for this trust Before Almighty Allah, so fear Allah while treating your wife. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Treat women kindly, they are like captives in your hands…." {Al-Tirmithi}. Moreover, he (PBUH) warned against wronging women where he said: "O Allah, I declare inviolable the rights of two weak ones: the orphans and women" [Ahmad & Ibn Majah and graded its chain of narrators by a sound one].

 

2- Good character and nobility are among the characteristics of the believers, so embrace them. Don`t be mean to your wife and consider her good characteristics. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another." [Moslim].

 

3- Patience and tolerance are attributes that prolong love between spouses, so make sure to embrace them. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." {Al- Tirmithi}.

4- Jealousy for the wife is a sign of faith and love. Because The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honour than he, and Allah is more jealous than I." {Moslim}.

 

5- Suspicion and mistrust lead to spying and consequently breakdown of the family, so avoid them, because Allah The Almighty Said {What means}: "O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful." [Al-Hujurat/12].

 

6- Observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with your wife; especially in the event of her slipping or making a mistake. Try to be of mature thought and keen on preserving your family and home.  Since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

7- Spend on your wife with kindness and you will have your reward from Allah. Since The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Whatever you spend seeking thereby The Pleasure of Allah, will have its reward, even the morsel which you put in the mouth of your wife". [Agreed upon].

 

8- The right of the wife upon husband is to provide her with food, drink or garment whenever he provides himself with any of these. The Prophet (PBUH) was asked: "Messenger of God, what right can any wife demand of her husband?" He replied: "That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not strike her on the face, and do not revile her or separate from her except in the house." [Transmitted by Ahmad, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah].

 

9- Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) is a necessity, so learn from it how to deal with your wife, your mutual rights and obligations, and teach these rules to her if she doesn`t know them.

 

10- Revealing wife`s secrets is both immoral and forbidden, so eschew such cowardly act, since The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The worst of people in position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secrets." [Moslim].

 

In conclusion, chivalry dictates that spouses overlook each other's slips and mistakes in case of separation and divorce. A righteous man was once asked: "What do you dislike about your wife?" He replied: "A prudent person doesn`t reveal a secret." When he divorced her, he was asked: "Why did you divorce her?" He said: "She isn`t my wife any more, she is a stranger to me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Wife,

 

In the beginning, we ask Allah to shower you and your husband with His blessings. We take the opportunity to remind you with the following pieces of advice from Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) to ensure happiness of your household and continued love between you and your husband:

 

1- Contentment and satisfaction with little, so avoid driving your husband to means of illicit gains. Some women of the righteous predecessors used to tell their husbands when they were about to leave home: "Avoid illicit means of gain for we can endure hunger but can`t endure Hell fire!"

 

2- Wife must obey husband in that which is lawful, so eschew disobeying him, raising your voice when speaking to him, and complaining to your family about him. Al-Husayn Ibn Muhsan reported that his aunt came to the Prophet for a need, and when she finished, the Prophet asked her: "Do you have a husband?" She replied: "Yes." He said: "How do you treat him?” She replied: "I try to fulfill all his rights upon me unless I am unable to do so.” Thereupon, he  said: "Look to how you are with respect to him, for he is your Heaven or Hell (i.e. you will be admitted to Paradise or thrown into hell according to the way you treat him)." [Ahmad and Nasa`ei].

 

3- The right of husband upon wife takes precedence over the rights of all her relatives. In the event of conflict between these rights, give priority to the rights of your husband and you are cleared from liability before Allah. This is because, after Allah and His Messenger, the greatest rights upon wife are the husband`s. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband". [At-Tirmidhi graded it as a sound authentic narration, to stress the greatness of his right (The husband on her (The wife].

 

4- It is the right of husband upon wife that she preserves his wealth, so don`t take anything out of his house without his permission. Even if you want to give to charity, from his money, you must ask for his permission, and you will have the same reward as his. However, if you didn`t obtain his permission, then he will be rewarded for that charity, and you will be burdened for the sin.

 

5- Beware of evil female friends and neighbors who seek to sow discord between you and your husband. Such women could lead to the destruction of your family and make your husband hate you.

 

6- Endure the harm of your husband and deal with him wisely when he is in a state of anger for you will reap the fruit of this at the times he is pleased with you. You should bear in mind that pride and obstinacy aggravate problems between you and him, so shun these qualities out and save your family.

 

7- When your husband calls you to his bed, obey him unless you have a lawful excuse for not doing so. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning." [Agreed upon].

 

8- It is forbidden to describe the details of a woman`s figure to your husband since the Prophet (PBUH) forbade such an act. As he (PBUH) said: "No woman should touch another woman's body and then describe the details of her figure to her husband in such a manner as if he was looking at her." {Agreed upon}.

 

 

 

Tips to Parents:

 

Dear parents, if you want your children to live happily, take the following pieces of advice into account:

 

1- When a man who doesn`t observe the obligatory prayers proposes to your daughter; turn him down because she is a trust with you. Therefore, it is your duty to choose for her the best husband in terms of righteousness and piety. Thus, the man who abandoned prayer is no match for her because abandoning prayer out of laziness is evil doing and out of denial is disbelief. This is because The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Between a man and disbelief and paganism is the abandonment of Salat (prayer)." [Moslim]. Moreover, Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "The covenant between us and them is prayer, so if anyone abandons it he has become an infidel." [Transmitted by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Nissaee'i and Ibn Majah].

 

2- Interfering in your children`s private life may disturb it, so do that at the right time to make reconciliation and save family from breakdown.

 

3- Corrupting the relation between husband and wife is forbidden since The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He who makes a wife disaffected towards her husband or a slave towards his master is not one of us." [Abu Dawood].

 

 

Article Number [ Previous | Next ]

Read for Author




Comments


Captcha


Warning: this window is not dedicated to receive religious questions, but to comment on topics published for the benefit of the site administrators—and not for publication. We are pleased to receive religious questions in the section "Send Your Question". So we apologize to readers for not answering any questions through this window of "Comments" for the sake of work organization. Thank you.




Summarized Fatawaa

Must a person refrain from eating for the rest of the day if they break a fast of a vow (nadhr) or a make up fast (qada)?

 

Whoever observes a vowed fast (nadhr) or a makeup fast (qada) is prohibited from breaking it without a valid excuse. If they break it without a legitimate reason, they are sinful.
However, they are not required to refrain from eating for the rest of the day, because such restraint is only required out of respect for the month of Ramadan, not for other types of fasting.

What are the conditions for a valid Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
First: The age of the animal must meet the Sharia requirements. These requirements vary depending on the type of sacrifice:
 
Camels: Must have completed five years and entered their sixth.
 
Cows: Must have completed two years and entered their third.
 
Goats: Must have completed two years and entered their third. As for Sheep, they must have completed one year and entered their second.
 
Some scholars have permitted goats that have completed one year and entered their second.
 
The Hanafi school, along with an opinion in the Maliki school, permits sacrificing sheep that are at least six months old, provided they are healthy and physically substantial. According to the Shafi’i school, it is permissible if the sheep sheds its front teeth (ajdha') before reaching one year [Al-Iqna’, by Al-Shirbini (Vol.2/P.588)].
 
Second: Soundness and freedom from defects. The animal must be free from any defect that causes a decrease in its meat or market value. This is based on the hadith narrated by Al-Bara' bin 'Azib, that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
 
"Four [defects] are not permissible in sacrifices: A one-eyed animal whose blindness is evident, a sick animal whose illness is evident, a lame animal whose lameness is evident, and an emaciated animal that has no marrow in its bones." [Reported by Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi, who graded it as authentic].
 
These defects are detailed as follows:
 
Evident Lameness: It is not permissible to sacrifice a lame animal if the lameness is severe enough to prevent it from walking to the pasture or seeking food, as this leads to a decrease in its meat. However, slight lameness that does not hinder its grazing is overlooked.
 
Evident Blindness (One-eyed): It is not permissible to sacrifice a sheep, cow, or camel that has a white film over its eye blocking light, or one that has lost an eye entirely. Weak vision that does not affect its ability to eat does not prevent the sacrifice from being valid.
 
Evident Illness: An animal with a clear sickness that prevents it from eating or moving is not valid. This includes severe mange (Jarab) that spoils the meat.
 
Extreme Emaciation: An animal so thin that there is no marrow left in its bones is invalid. The standard for emaciation that invalidates the sacrifice is that which spoils the quality of the meat to the point that people would find it undesirable even in times of plenty.
 
Additional Considerations:
These are the defects mentioned in the Prophetic tradition, and any defect that causes emaciation or reduces the meat or value is compared to them by analogy. This includes animals that are mentally unstable (diseased), those with mange, or those with a missing ear. In contrast, a slit or pierced ear does not affect the validity of the sacrifice. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Does the time of Fajr (dawn) prayer start after the first Athaan (call for prayer), or the second one?

All perfect praise be to Allah,The Lord of The Worlds                                                                                                                                                                    The time of Fajr prayer starts after the second Adhan. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the ruling on eating or drinking during the second Adhan?

It is not permissible to eat or drink during the second Adhan because it announces the break of dawn and the obligation to start fasting. Allah Almighty says {what means}:"and eat and drink until you can discern the white streak of dawn against the blackness of night." [Al-Baqarah/187].
Whoever eats or drinks during this time invalidates their fast, and they must refrain from eating for the rest of the day and make up for the missed fast later.

 

See More