Who is the one deemed "able" (al-qādir), for whom the uḍḥiyah (sacrificial offering) is sunnah?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The one who is deemed "able" (al-qādir) [to perform the uḍḥiyah, i.e., the sacrifice] is someone who possesses wealth sufficient to acquire the sacrificial animal, over and above what is needed to cover his own living expenses and the living expenses of his wife and children — or of anyone else whose financial support (nafaqah) is legally obligatory upon him — for the day of ‘Eid and the three days of Tashrīq [that follow it], since this is the designated time period for the sacrifice. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Does smoking break the fast?
Yes, smoking breaks the fast because smoke particles intentionally enter the lungs, which are considered part of the body cavity (jauf).
How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?
Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.