What is the ruling on performing istinja' after passing wind from the anus?
Ablution is invalidated by passing wind from the anus, even without a smell. Only ablution becomes obligatory from it. Istinja' is not obligatory nor recommended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is the father a Mahram (Non-marriageable) to his son`s mother-in-law?
The father is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to his son`s mother-in-law, so it is impermissible for them to look at each other, or to have a seclusion (Khalwah).
What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.