What is the ruling on performing ablution (wudu') and ritual bathing (ghusl) with Zamzam water?
It is permissible to perform ablution and ritual bathing with Zamzam water. However, scholars disliked using it for cleaning after relieving oneself (istinja'). And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on the ablution of one who touches his wife without a barrier?
In the Shafi'i school, a man's ablution is invalidated by touching his wife if their skins meet (in any place) without a barrier, whether the touch is intentional or accidental. An exception to this is touching hair, teeth, or nails; these do not invalidate ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.