I have a date farm, and the dates come in different categories, and within each category there are different sizes. How is zakāh paid on the yield?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
If the yield reaches the niṣāb (the minimum threshold for zakāh to become obligatory) — which is five awsuq (plural of wasq), equivalent to (611) kg — then zakāh becomes obligatory upon it, at a rate of one-tenth ('ushr) if irrigated by rainwater (i.e., naturally, without the use of machinery), or one-twentieth (half of the 'ushr) if irrigated using machinery/equipment.
If the yield of dates consists of different varieties, then zakāh should be paid from each variety according to its respective proportion. If this proves difficult, it is permissible to pay from a medium-quality variety [representative of the average].
It is stated in Ḥāshiyatā Qulyūbī wa ‘Umayrah (Vol.2/P.22): "Different varieties are combined together [for the purpose of calculating the niṣāb] — such as the various types of dates, the various types of raisins, and so on — and zakāh is paid from each type according to its respective proportion. However, if this becomes difficult due to the large number of varieties and the small quantity of each individual type, then zakāh should be paid from a medium-quality variety among them — neither the best nor the worst — out of consideration for both sides [the giver and the poor recipient]. If one goes to the trouble of paying from each variety according to its proportion, this is also permissible." And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the mother to give her children from the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money?
It is permissible for the mother to give her children from the Zakah of her money if they are Zakah-eligible recipients, and she isn`t obliged to provide for them.
Is it permissible for a pious Muslim woman to stay with her husband who had quit praying out of laziness?
Quitting prayer is one of the major grave sins that come after disbelieving in Allah, but the wife of such a person isn`t considered divorced, rather, she should exert all her efforts in order to bring him back to the way of Islam. However, if his sin is likely to lure her from the way of Islam, then she had better separate from him by lawful means such as Mokhal`aa (When a wife pays a compensation for her husband in return for divorcing her). Moreover, if she exercises patience, and remains steadfast on her faith, then there is no harm in doing that.