What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a pious Muslim woman to stay with her husband who had quit praying out of laziness?
Quitting prayer is one of the major grave sins that come after disbelieving in Allah, but the wife of such a person isn`t considered divorced, rather, she should exert all her efforts in order to bring him back to the way of Islam. However, if his sin is likely to lure her from the way of Islam, then she had better separate from him by lawful means such as Mokhal`aa (When a wife pays a compensation for her husband in return for divorcing her). Moreover, if she exercises patience, and remains steadfast on her faith, then there is no harm in doing that.
A pious man proposed to me and my father was hesitant in this regard because he is black, am I sinful if I accepted his proposal?
If the suitor is pious, color isn`t a drawback. However, try talking to your father kindly, so that he approves of your marriage with contentment, and that is better for you.