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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on waiving a debt owed by a debtor and counting it toward zakāh?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Waiving a debt owed by a debtor, with the intention of counting it toward zakāh, does not fulfill the zakāh obligation. Rather, it constitutes an ordinary act of charity, for which Allah rewards the giver generously — since one of the conditions for the validity of zakāh is that the person paying it must form the intention of zakāh at the actual moment the wealth is paid out. In this case, the debt has already been established as a standing obligation upon the borrower, so it is not valid to simply redirect the intention toward zakāh after the fact.
It is preferable, instead, for the creditor to first collect the debt from the debtor, and then return to him the amount of money he is required to pay as zakāh — or a portion of it — if the debtor happens to fall under one of the eight categories that Allah, the Exalted, has commanded be given from zakāh.
It is stated in ‘Umdat as-Sālik, from the books of the Shāfi‘ī school: "If someone gives [money] to a poor person, stipulating that the recipient return it to him in payment of a debt owed to him, or says, 'I am making what you owe me into zakāh, so take it [as such]' — this is not valid. But if he gives it to him with the [unstated] intention that the recipient will use it to repay him, or says, 'Repay what you owe me, so that I may [then separately] give it to you as zakāh,' or the debtor himself says, 'Give it to me, so that I may [then] repay you with it' — this is valid, and there is no binding obligation for the recipient to actually fulfill this [informal understanding]." And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

I vowed to give a specific charity if a certain matter came to pass — what is the ruling on giving that charity before the matter is realised?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Fulfilling a vow (nadhr) is obligatory, in accordance with the word of Allah the Almighty: "And let them fulfil their vows." [Al-Ḥajj/ 29] And the saying of our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: "Whoever vows to obey Allah, let him obey Him; and whoever vows to disobey Him, let him not disobey Him." (Reported by al-Bukhārī.)
The Shāfiʿī scholars distinguished between a financial vow (nadhr mālī) and a bodily vow (nadhr badanī). They permitted the fulfilment of a financial vow to be brought forward — before the stipulated condition is met — but did not permit the same for a bodily vow, which may only be fulfilled after the condition has actually been realised.
Shaykh al-Islām Imām Zakariyyā al-Anṣārī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "It is permissible to bring forward the fulfilment of a financial vow before the condition stipulated in it is met — such as saying: 'If I am healed, I vow to free a slave' or 'to give such-and-such in charity' — just as it is permissible to pay zakāh in advance. This is unlike a bodily vow, such as fasting." [Asnā al-Maṭālib, vol. 4/P.246]
Imām al-Bājūrī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "Like expiation other than fasting, a financial vow — such as saying: 'If Allah heals my sick one, I vow to free a slave for the sake of Allah,' or 'If Allah heals my sick one, I vow to free a slave on the Friday following the recovery' — it is permissible to bring it forward before the recovery in the first case, and before the Friday following the recovery in the second case." [Ḥāshiyat al-Bājūrī ʿalā Sharḥ Ibn Qāsim, Vol.2/P.596] And Allah the Almighty knows best.

I hired a private tutor for my son through an academy that sends teachers [to families] and takes a percentage [of their pay]. At the start of the [new] school year, I arranged directly with that same teacher, without the academy's knowledge. What is the ruling on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The ruling on this matter depends on knowing the specific terms of the agreement and contract concluded with the academy. If the agreement stipulates that no arrangement may be made with any of the students except through the academy itself, then it is not permissible for you to breach the terms of this contract, based on the words of our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: "Muslims are bound by their conditions." (Related by al-Bukhārī)
However, if the agreement pertains only to teaching a specific subject, and the agreement concludes once that subject is finished, then there is no objection to arranging with the teacher to teach other subjects after the contract period has ended, outside of the academy.
Whatever the case maybe, the teacher must uphold the terms of his contract with the academy. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on a woman using contraception without her husband's knowledge if he is mistreating her?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is not permissible for a woman to use any means of delaying pregnancy without her husband's knowledge, consent, and mutual agreement. This is because having children is a sharʿī right belonging to both spouses equally in Islamic law. Imām al-Māwardī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "The right to a child from a free woman is shared between them both" — meaning between the two spouses. [al-Ḥāwī al-Kabīr, 9/320]
It is therefore not permissible for either spouse to make a unilateral decision regarding the prevention of pregnancy without the consent of the other. We advise both spouses to discuss the matter with wisdom and mutual respect, so as to resolve any disagreement and arrive at a suitable solution that serves the interests of them both. And Allah the Almighty knows best.