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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away, and what is the ruling on her wearing gold?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away is four months and ten days for one who is not pregnant. As for a pregnant woman, her waiting period lasts until she gives birth. It is obligatory for her to remain in the marital home, only leaving for a necessity. During this time, it is prohibited (Haram) to display any form of adornment on the body or clothing; this includes wearing kohl, gold, all types of perfume, and dyeing the hair. Likewise, it is prohibited to receive a direct marriage proposal or to marry during this period.
 
It was narrated by Umm 'Atiyyah that the Prophet ﷺ said: 'We were forbidden to mourn for a deceased person for more than three days, except for a husband, for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days. During this time, we were not to use kohl, nor wear perfume, nor wear dyed clothing except for garments made of 'Asb (coarsely dyed yarn). We were, however, granted a concession at the time of purification—when one of us bathed following her menses—to use a small amount of Kust (costus) or Azfar (fragrant substances). We were also forbidden from following funeral processions.' (Narrated by Al-Bukhari). And Allah the Exalted knows best."

How can I love the prayer (Salah) and start praying?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Love for the prayer (Salah) comes when you realize that this world is fleeting and the Hereafter is everlasting. Your prayer is the righteous deed that will comfort you in your grave and be your salvation before Allah in the Hereafter. Do you not wish to attain tranquility in this life and Paradise in the next? Reflect upon your state and do not delay, for life does not wait. We ask Allah to grant us and you steadfastness (Thabat).

What is the ruling on a young man and a young woman having a love relation for the purpose of getting married?

It is forbidden for a man and a woman to have any kind of relation whether for marriage, or not because it leads to committing sin. Such relations include: private meetings, mixing, gazing, and seclusion (Khulwa). Accordingly, one who is sincere in his intentions should go to the woman`s guardian and ask for her hand in marriage.

If someone fasts on the White Days with the intention of making up for missed fasts (qada), will they receive the reward for both voluntary and obligatory fasting?

Making up missed obligatory fasts (qada) is mandatory, and the intention for qada must be specified.
If a person makes up their missed Ramadan fasts on the White Days, they must intend qada, but they may also intend to fast the White Days, and Allah willing, they will receive the reward for both.
This is similar to entering a mosque and praying an obligatory prayer, where the person also earns the reward of Tahiyyat al-Masjid (greeting the mosque) if they intend both.
● If the person missed their fasts due to a valid excuse, they may wait and fast on the White Days.
● However, if they missed the fasts without a valid excuse, they must make up the fasts immediately and should not delay them until the White Days.