Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
For some time I have been searching for a guiding shaykh to teach me the spiritual path (*sulūk*) and the Islamic sciences, but I have not found one. What should I do?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
There is abundant good in this Ummah, and the scholars who guide and nurture are never cut off. The student of knowledge should strive in seeking them out, ask diligently after them, and draw from their learning.
As for one who cannot find a guiding and nurturing shaykh, he should send abundant prayers and peace upon our master the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while keeping constantly to dhikr and worship and abstaining from the forbidden. For that will bring him to his goal in traveling toward Allah the Exalted. Imam Muḥammad al-Sanūsī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “I have seen it said by some of the imams of Sufism that whoever lacks shaykhs of spiritual training (shuyūkh al-tarbiyah) should increase his invocation of blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), for by it he will reach his goal.”
The scholar Aḥmad Zarrūq al-Mālikī (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Qawāʿid al-Taṣawwuf (p. 86), rule no. 114: “Dhikr is the decree of sainthood (manshūr al-wilāyah). Whoever is given dhikr has been given the decree. Our shaykh Abū al-ʿAbbās al-Ḥaḍramī (may Allah be pleased with him) said: ‘Keep constantly to dhikr and abundant blessings upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), for it is a ladder, an ascent, and a path to Allah the Exalted when the seeker does not meet a guiding shaykh.’” And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it valid for the 'aqīqah to be performed using the newborn child's own wealth?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is not permissible for the guardian to perform the 'aqīqah using the newborn child's own wealth, because the 'aqīqah is a voluntary act of giving (tabarru'), and a guardian is prohibited from making voluntary expenditures from the child's wealth. Should he do so, he becomes financially liable for what he spent. And Allah Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on performing the Istikhara prayer after the Witr paryer?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The Istikhara prayer (Prayer for seeking guidance) is a Sunnah. It consists of two units (rak’ahs) performed outside of the obligatory prayers, after which the person supplicates with the traditionally narrated du’a. It is permissible to perform it before or after the Witr prayer, as the Istikhara prayer is recommended at all times except during the disliked times—the periods in which prayer is prohibited. This is because its specific reason (the Istikhara and supplication) occurs after the prayer itself, and any prayer with a subsequent reason is not permitted during the prohibited times. It should be noted that the two rak’ahs of Istikhara are not fulfilled by performing only one rak’ah, nor by a prostration of recitation (Sajdat al-Tilawah), nor by a funeral prayer (Janazah). And Allah the Exalted knows best.