Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the ruling on ablution without istinja' after sleep?
The sleep of one whose buttocks are not firmly seated on the ground invalidates ablution. Whoever wakes up and wants to pray must perform ablution only. Istinja' is not a condition for the validity of ablution, because it is for removing impurity from the private part. If there is no impurity on the private part, then istinja' is neither obligatory nor recommended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Does having a wet dream during the day in Ramadan break the fast?
Having a wet dream during the day in Ramadan does not invalidate the fast. However, one must perform ghusl (ritual purification) to ensure they do not miss their prayers.