Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Is it allowed to shave my beard to join the army taking into consideration that I can`t find a job?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

The army should be joined in preparation for Jihad (Fighting in the cause of Allah), so if Jihad contradicts with growing a beard then it is allowed to shave it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.  

Is it permissible for one to masturbate in order not to commit fornication?

This is called committing the milder of the two evils such as eating a carcass in fear of death, and this happens when committing fornication is very likely to occur.

Is it permissible for us to sever ties of kinship if our blood-relatives` gatherings/meetings involve acts of sin?

Observing kinship ties is obligatory, and paying your blood-relatives a visit causing their sinful acts to be hindered , then you should do so. However, if their sinful acts continue while you are at their gathering and they didn't respond positively, then observing kinship ties via telephone and the like will suffice in this case. And Allah Knows