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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible to give my zakat to my grandson who is studying at university, while I am living abroad and my money is in my home country? Also, is it permissible to assign my father the responsibility of distributing the zakat to the people in my home country?

 

It is permissible to give zakat to a son whom his father is supporting if he is an adult and in good health, because his father is not obligated to support him, making him one of the poor among the Muslims. However, the student who may receive zakat is one who is diligent in seeking beneficial knowledge for the Muslims and is religious. Zakat should be paid in the country where the money is located, and appointing your father to distribute the zakat in the country where the money is is the correct approach. And Allah Knows Best.

I underwent a procedure for a molar pregnancy (hydatidiform mole), and after that, the bleeding continued for more than two months, during which I did not pray. Do I need to make up the missed prayers?

If you have previously experienced postpartum bleeding, the duration of the current bleeding is treated the same as your previous postpartum period. Any bleeding that exceeds this duration must be considered irregular bleeding (istihada), and you must make up the missed prayers. If this is the first time, then any bleeding beyond sixty days is considered irregular bleeding. You must perform ghusl, pray, and make up the prayers for the days beyond the sixty-day limit. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the ruling on not fulfilling a vow?

A vow is a commitment towards Allah, The Almighty, and so, it should be observed as much as possible, and it is impermissible to take it lightly. Allah, The Exalted, Says –in commending the believers (What means): "(Because) they perform the vow and fear a day whereof the evil is wide-spreading." [Al-Insan/7].

Is abortion permissible when the family isn`t ready to receive a new baby?

Abortion is forbidden unless it constituted a serious threat against the mother`s life based on the opinion of trustful and God fearing physicians.