Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

An Arab young man had an illegitimate sexual relationship with a Christian American while she was staying in one of the Arab countries. After she returned to America, she told him that she had doubts that she was impregnated by him. It is worth pointing that it is hard for him to get a visa to the USA. What is the ruling of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Zina (Adultery and extramarital relations) is one of the grave sins that incur the wrath of Allah if the adulterer didn`t make immediate repentance. However, the child isn`t attributed to the adulterer. Rather, he/she is attributed to the woman who got pregnant by him and, according to Sharia, it isn`t considered a legitimate child of the adulterer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a young lady to wear a short skirt, which is above her knee, over pants?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
In Islam, it isn`t permissible for a woman to wear garment revealing her beautiful shape and arousing men`s sexual desire. This is whether the garment is transparent or skin-tight showing the size of her private parts. A Muslim woman`s garment must be loose and not revealing since she will be accountable for this before Allah The Almighty on the Day of Judgement. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best. 

What is the ruling on using bank cards such as Visa and MasterCard?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upo all of his family and comapnions                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        It is permissible to use such cards in accordance with the following conditions: 1- The issuing body does not stipulate collecting interest upon late payments. 2- The merchant does not increase the price of the goods due to an increase in the commission collected from him by the card issuer. 3- The purchased item(s) should not be gold, silver or currency in case the card is not covered. And Allah Knows Best.

I have concluded my marriage contract at a Sharia court; however, one day I was talking to my fiancée over the phone and she got on my nerves leading me to utter one divorce. This is knowing that I can`t tell my her father because he is very strict and will not accept that at all. What is the best course of action that I should pursue in this situation?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
When divorce takes place before the consummation of marriage it is called Ba`in divorce* (Minor irrevocable divoce), so your wife is considered unlawful to you until you conduct a new marriage contract and pay Mahr* , and you should visit the Iftaa` Department in order to know the correct Fatwa. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

* Minor irrevocable divorce Talaq Al-Ba'in Binona Soghra: It is a divorce where the husband cannot take his ex-wife back unless with her consent, conducting a new marriage contract and paying new bridal wealth Mahr.

* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage. While the Mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land.