Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is the `Iddah (waiting period) of the divorced effective from the time the divorce took place, or from the time of registering it at the court?
It is considered effective from the very moment her divorce took place, but not from the time of registering it at the court. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife`s family to demand her husband to divorce her although she doesn`t want that?
It is forbidden for them to do that in case their daughter doesn`t want divorce unless there was a sin that continues as long as the marriage survives.
I can`t afford to get married, what should I do to curb my sexual drives?
You should offer a lot of voluntary fasting, keep busy with useful and permissible acts and make supplication to Allah, The Exalted.