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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

I`m married to an American citizen who used to be married to a man in Mexico and filed for divorce there. It is worth pointing that in America she isn`t registered as married. When she arrived in Jordan, her lawyer called and told her that she got the divorce, and based on this we got married in Jordan. What is the ruling of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
You haven`t mentioned whether this woman has converted to Islam or not. If she had embraced Islam and three menstrual cycles passed, but her first husband hasn`t converted to Islam, then her relationship with him is over. If you married her after this (Passing of three menstrual cycles and first husband not having embraced Islam) then your marriage is valid. However, if she didn`t convert to Islam then your marriage contract with her is invalid and you have to wait until she gets divorced by her first husband and observes Iddah, which is three menstrual cycles. Afterwards, you can conclude the marriage contract. We pray that Allah doesn`t hold you to account for what you have done because you thought she was divorced. We recommend that you seek Allah`s forgiveness as much as you can and do righteous deeds. We also advise you to marry a Muslim woman to preserve your and your children`s religion since Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Wed not idolatresses till they believe…" [Al-Baqarah/ 221]. It is true that marrying a Kitabi (One who believes in a book of sacred scriptures and with whom a Muslim may marry in what is deemed a lawful marriage) is permissible, it involves great risks, as stated in the aforementioned verse. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 

Is it permissible for a person who had vowed to give a certain amount of money to another, but didn`t find the latter to donate that money to the mosque?

In principle, the vowing person should abide by his vow as much as possible. Therefore, if he couldn`t find the person that he had made the vow for, then the vow itself is countless and nothing is due on its maker. However, if the latter happens to find the former later on then, he has to give him that money.

My father placed shares worth twenty dinars in one of the banks, and their value doubled to become five thousand dinars. When my father passed away, one of the scholars told us that it is permissible for us to take the money. What is the ruling on this money, considering that it comes from a bank and involves interest (Riba)?

Allah The Almighty Said (What means): "And if you repent, then for you is the principal of your wealth. You do not wrong, nor are you wronged." [Al-Baqarah/279]. This is the precautionary ruling regarding what you are asking about. You are entitled to the principal amount, and you should give the excess as charity to the poor and needy. If you are poor, you may take from it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?

Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.