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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

A man has married a second wife and deprived the first from provision and overnight stay. He spent most of his time and wealth on his second wife. After sometime, the latter got sick and was diagnosed with breast cancer, which made him forsake her in bed and return to his first wife. What is the position of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is forbidden for a woman to forsake her husband in bed without a lawful excuse since this is one of the mutual rights of spouses. When the wife abstains from making love to her husband without a lawful excuse, she is considered sinful. This is because the Prophet (PBUH) said: "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)." [Agreed upon]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible to pay the expiation of an oath to a charitable party as it feeds the poor and needy such as Tkiyet Um Ali?

There is no harm on authorizing someone to handle the expiation of another to the poor and needy, since Shafiee's jurists stated that authorizing someone for the purpose of distributing Zakah, expiation and vow is permissible as stated in [Mughni Al-Muhtajj,vol.3/pp.237]. At last, the intention of the person who intends to authorize someone else suffices in this regard. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible to perform Tayammum for a month due to a medical condition that requires avoiding water?

Tayammum is permissible so long as the above excuse lasts. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the ruling of Sharia on uncovering Awrah  before  a female laser-hair-removal specialist to remove thick hair knowing that I`am engaged and feel embarrassed and this treatment is guaranteed and definitive?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is lawful for a Muslim woman to look at the body of another Muslim woman except what is between the navel and the knees.  In addition, it is lawful to look at the whole body for treatment; however, having thick hair isn`t considered an illness. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.