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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her family?

A husband shouldn`t stop his wife from visiting her family, and it is disliked for him to do so because such an act makes them harbor feelings of hatred against him.

I`m married to an American citizen who used to be married to a man in Mexico and filed for divorce there. It is worth pointing that in America she isn`t registered as married. When she arrived in Jordan, her lawyer called and told her that she got the divorce, and based on this we got married in Jordan. What is the ruling of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
You haven`t mentioned whether this woman has converted to Islam or not. If she had embraced Islam and three menstrual cycles passed, but her first husband hasn`t converted to Islam, then her relationship with him is over. If you married her after this (Passing of three menstrual cycles and first husband not having embraced Islam) then your marriage is valid. However, if she didn`t convert to Islam then your marriage contract with her is invalid and you have to wait until she gets divorced by her first husband and observes Iddah, which is three menstrual cycles. Afterwards, you can conclude the marriage contract. We pray that Allah doesn`t hold you to account for what you have done because you thought she was divorced. We recommend that you seek Allah`s forgiveness as much as you can and do righteous deeds. We also advise you to marry a Muslim woman to preserve your and your children`s religion since Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Wed not idolatresses till they believe…" [Al-Baqarah/ 221]. It is true that marrying a Kitabi (One who believes in a book of sacred scriptures and with whom a Muslim may marry in what is deemed a lawful marriage) is permissible, it involves great risks, as stated in the aforementioned verse. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 

I placed my hand on the Quran and made an oath to avoid doing a specific matter, but the devil seduced me. What is the ruling on this?

You are obliged to pay an expiation; feeding 10 poor and the cost of feeing one is half JD. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it allowed to shave my beard to join the army taking into consideration that I can`t find a job?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

The army should be joined in preparation for Jihad (Fighting in the cause of Allah), so if Jihad contradicts with growing a beard then it is allowed to shave it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.