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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on someone who vowed to fast for two consecutive months, but failed to do so?

He is obliged to fulfill his vow by fasting for two consecutive months, but if he fails to do so then, it remains a debt on him until he either fulfills his vow, or dies. In case of his death, his guardian is supposed to fast on his behalf, or donate food from his estate in return for fasting, but if the guardian fails to do so then, it is all in the Hands of Allah.

Are minors obliged to fast?

A male under the age of puberty isn`t required to fast, but his guardian should order him to fast if he was able to endure the hardship until being used for fasting in general. And Allah Knows Best.

Talking to one's fiancée in Ramadan with romantic talk may lead to arousal, and if pre-ejaculate fluid (Madhy) is discharged as a result, it does not break the fast. However, it is advised to avoid actions that provoke desire and lead to this outcome. If semen (Mani) is discharged as a result, it does break the fast.
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

The discharge of Madhy doesn't invalidate one's fasting but it invalidates the ablution and his clothes must be washed because they are impure in this case. As for Mani, it breaks one's fast and making up invalidataed  is obligatory, beside; a Muslim suitor should abstain from these matters during Ramadan and not to degrade the holy month to this extent. And Allah Knows Best.

 By slip of the tongue, my son cursed Allah. It is worth pointing that he has concluded his marriage contract recently, but haven`t consummated the marriage. What is the position of Sharia on this? 

All perfect praise be to AllahThe Lord of The Worlds and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions. 
This person must return to the fold of Islam by uttering the two testimonies of faith and making repentance to Allah from all acts that lead to disbelief. Also, he must make a new marriage contract because the old one was dissolved after he had committed this act of disbelief. Moreover, since there is no waiting period for his wife, then she is in state of Talaq ba`en baynona Soghra (Minor irrevocable divorce); consequently, she can get back to him only by a new marriage contract. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.