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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

How is night prayer offered?

Night prayer is offering voluntary prayer after Maghrib and before Fajr (Dawn). As for Tahajjud, it is offering voluntary prayer at night after waking up voluntarily, and for Allah`s sake as He Says (What means): "And pray in the small watches of the morning: (it would be) an additional prayer (or spiritual profit) for thee: soon will thy Lord raise thee to a Station of Praise and Glory!" [Al-Isra`/79]. Offering Tahajjud is better than offering voluntary prayer before going to bed.

A woman has asked her husband for Khulu`, her gold, deferred portion of the dowry and furniture. Is she entitled to that, knowing that her husband doesn`t want to divorce her?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Khulu`* can`t takes place save before a judge of Sharia and he has the authority to make the suitable decision in this matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* Khulu' is when parties agree to separate by way of consent, usually upon terms such as the wife agreeing to repay her Mahr (dowry) to the husband upon him agreeing to grant Talaq. The iddah period (waiting time after a divorce) of a woman who seeks a khula, is one menstrual cycle or one month if she is post-menopause i.e. ceased menstruating. This is to ensure she is not pregnant. This differs from when a man gives a talaq; the iddah period is three cycles or three months.

What is Aqeeqah?

It is the sheep slaughtered on the seventh day from the child`s birth, and it is a confirmed Sunnah after the Prophet (PBUH).

Is it permissible for a woman whose menses exceeded (15) days to pray, fast and do what was prohibited on her to do during the latter period?

If the menses exceeded 15 days then it is deemed menstruation, and in this case she is obliged to pray and fast and to do what was impermissible for her to do during the latter period. In addition, she is obliged to make an ablution for each obligatory prayer after it's due time and making sure that impuity is removed. Finally, your menstruation period is over (Questioner) simlar to your menstruation in the previos month.