How are those killed in wars punished with the torment of the grave if they are not buried?
The torment of the grave refers to the suffering that the deceased experiences between the day of their death and the Day of Resurrection, which is called the Barzakh period. Similarly, it includes the blessings of the grave, whether the deceased is buried or not. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best
Is it permissible for a woman to conclude her marriage without the approval of her family?
No marriage is permissible without the presence of a guardian and two trust worthy witnesses, and the woman whose family had denied her right in getting married to a God-fearing, financially and physically capable man should go to the court.
Is it permissible to offer Salah (prayer) on behalf of the sick who is on his/her death bed, and is incapable of offering it?
It`s impermissible to offer Salah on behalf of the sick, or the dead.
I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.