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If a Man Fights or Abuses him, he should Say: "I`m Fasting. I`m Fasting"
Author : His Grace Shiekh Abdulkareem Al-Khasawneh
Date Added : 02-11-2022

If a Man Fights or Abuses him, he should Say: "I`m Fasting. I`m Fasting"

 

The advancement of nations lies in their good morals. One poet once said:

Nations live as long as morals do. When their virtues die nations do.

Morals are one pillar of magnanimity. Al-Shafie (May Allah have mercy on him) said: Magnanimity has four pillars: good manners, humility, generosity and asceticism.

Allah The Almighty Has Combined all virtues and perfections in our role model, Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) where He Said (What means): "And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character." [Al-Kalam/4].

 

One of the best examples in this regard is the story of the Bedouin who came to the Prophet and said to him: "O Muhammad, give me some of Allah's wealth that you have with you. It doesn`t belong to your father nor mother." The Prophet turned to him and said: "Indeed. The wealth is Allah`s, the earth is Allah`s, and the people are the servants of Allah." Obviously, the Prophet`s response indicates patience and forbearance. However, after the Prophet ordered some food for that Bedouin, he politely held him accountable for his harsh language. Then the Bedouin said: "How could you reprimand me for offending you while Allah Said about You (What means): "And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character." In fact, people vary as far as good morals are concerned. Not harming others and treating neighbors with kindness indicate beautiful morals. 

 

Even more beautiful than this is exercising patience and forbearance when harmed by others. Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "Fasting is a shield (or a screen or a shelter). So, the person observing fasting should avoid sexual relation with his wife and should not behave foolishly and impudently, and if somebody fights with him or abuses him, he should tell him twice, 'I am fasting." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

The one who stands on an exalted standard of character is patient, forbearing, and controls himself in a fit of rage. In addition to this, he is forgiving and turns away from the ignorant. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Allah the Almighty has clarified that the person of great moral character is the one who can-with his ability and kindness-repel rage with patience, ignorance with forbearance, and abuse with forgiveness. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become, as it were thy friend and intimate! And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, - none but persons of the greatest good fortune." [Fussilat/34-35].

Definitely, goodness and evil can`t be equal. Rather, there is a huge difference between them in the reward (Repel (Evil) with what is better). A divine guidance to repel evil with what is better. Ibn Abbas (May Allah be leased with them) said: "Repel ignorance with patience. Repel (Evil) with what is better refers to maintaining the relation with him who severed the relation with you, showing kindness to him who abused you, and being patient with the ignorant. If you do all of these things, then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!. This elevated rank is only bestowed upon the most blessed."

 

In addition, once Al-Ahnaf was walking to his village, a vulgar man followed him and kept shouting insults against him. The Ahnaf kept silent and never looked at that man until he became close to the village. Then he said to him to take out whatever insults are left against him because that if a member of Al-Ahnaf`s hears him then he will be in big trouble. The man stopped for a moment, grew a conscience, started sweating and felt greatly ashamed, rushed towards Al-Ahnaf kissing his hands, crying, saying that he was sorry, and asking to be forgiven and pledged before Allah not to insult anyone again.

 

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

A man has married a second wife and deprived the first from provision and overnight stay. He spent most of his time and wealth on his second wife. After sometime, the latter got sick and was diagnosed with breast cancer, which made him forsake her in bed and return to his first wife. What is the position of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is forbidden for a woman to forsake her husband in bed without a lawful excuse since this is one of the mutual rights of spouses. When the wife abstains from making love to her husband without a lawful excuse, she is considered sinful. This is because the Prophet (PBUH) said: "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)." [Agreed upon]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?

If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.

A woman has asked her husband for Khulu`, her gold, deferred portion of the dowry and furniture. Is she entitled to that, knowing that her husband doesn`t want to divorce her?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Khulu`* can`t takes place save before a judge of Sharia and he has the authority to make the suitable decision in this matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* Khulu' is when parties agree to separate by way of consent, usually upon terms such as the wife agreeing to repay her Mahr (dowry) to the husband upon him agreeing to grant Talaq. The iddah period (waiting time after a divorce) of a woman who seeks a khula, is one menstrual cycle or one month if she is post-menopause i.e. ceased menstruating. This is to ensure she is not pregnant. This differs from when a man gives a talaq; the iddah period is three cycles or three months.

Is it permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after her husband's death to leave her house and mix with non-Mahrams?

It is not permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after the death of her husband to leave her house except for a necessity, such as for medical treatment, nor is she allowed to mix with non-Mahrams. A woman is not permitted to mix with anyone other than her husband or Mahrams, whether she is in her waiting period or not. However, there is no harm in accepting condolences from those who visit and responding to their inquiries about her well-being. And Allah Knows Best.

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