Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

What are the conditions of the Aqeeqah?

The animals that are acceptable to be slaughtered for 'Aqeeqah are the same which are acceptable to be slaughtered for the sacrifice of 'Eed in terms of their age and lack of defects. The sheep should be one year old, and its teeth should have fallen off. As for goats and cows, they should have finished two years of age and entered into the third. The Aqeeqah should be free of any defects as regards meat, or price value.

My husband told me that he concluded our marriage with a fake name that belongs to another person, because he was sentenced. Nowadays, he recieved an ID, passport and birth certificate with the his current name. What is the ruling on being married to him?

Praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.  As regards being married to the person mentioned in your question: The marriage is valid so long as he was the same person your guardian concluded the marriage with, even if he changed his name i.e. if your marriage contract was concluded with the same person, since what counts regarding marriage is the persons not names. And Allah Knows Best.

 

I had my menstrual period at the beginning of Ramadan for six days, then it ended and I became pure. After four days, I started noticing some blood again, which has lasted for two days now, but it is not as heavy as menstrual blood. Is this blood considered menstrual blood, and what is the ruling regarding my prayers, fasting, and reading the Quran during this period?
 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
The minimum duration of menstruation is one day and one night, and its maximum is fifteen days. Any blood beyond this period is considered irregular bleeding (Istihada). Since the bleeding did not exceed fifteen days, it is considered menstrual blood within the regular cycle. Therefore, you should not pray or fast until the bleeding stops and the signs of purity appear. If the bleeding stops before fifteen days from when it first started, then all the blood you saw is considered menstrual blood, and you must make up the fasts, but not the prayers. If it exceeds fifteen days, then the first six days are menstrual blood, and the blood that follows is considered irregular bleeding. Your prayers and fasting are valid, and there is no issue with them. And Allah Knows Best."
 
*This answer was updated on [18/5/2023].

Is it permissible for a suitor to go out with his fiancé upon the conclusion of the marriage contract?

Upon the conclusion of the marriage contract, the woman becomes lawful for her husband. However, the customary practice should be observed in this regard since rights could be lost in case of divorce, or death.