Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?
It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
There are several Sunnahs and etiquettes that are recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah (sacrifice) to observe, including:
1-It is Sunnah for the one intending to sacrifice to refrain from removing any hair or nails once the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begin. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When the ten days [of Dhul-Hijjah] begin and one of you intends to offer a sacrifice, let him not touch [remove] any of his hair or skin." [Narrated by Muslim]. If someone does remove any hair or nails, they have not committed a sin, and their sacrifice remains valid.
2-It is recommended for the person offering the sacrifice to slaughter the animal themselves. If they are unable to do so, they should witness the slaughter. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her): "Stand and witness your sacrifice, for indeed, with its first drop of blood, your [previous sins] are forgiven." [Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Al-Tabarani; it is classified as a weak (da'if) hadith].
3-The animal should be positioned to face the Qiblah at the time of slaughter, as the Qiblah is the most noble of directions.
4-The slaughterer should say: "Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim" (In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful). Even if one forgets to say it, the sacrifice is still permissible to eat. Allah (Blessed and Exalted be He) says: "So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned" [Al-An'am: 118]. It is also recommended to send blessings upon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and to say "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) after the Tasmiyah.
5-The slaughterer should pray for the sacrifice to be accepted by saying: "O Allah, this is from You and for You, so please accept it from me." (Allahumma hadhihi minka wa ilayka, fataqabbal minni). And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.